Alternative New Zealand flag

FernCrossFlagBoth familiar and different, identity and tradition:

  • retains the same southern cross
  • adds the familiar silver fern
  • with a long white stripe aesthetically angled
  • relatively simple
  • can’t all be copied by the Aussies

As requested by SGA at Kiwiblog here’s a variant:


And with a flagpole plus sky background:


And back to the fern/cross flying:


The Press editorial is anti flag choice

The Press makes it clear in an editorial that they oppose changing the New Zealand flag. They don’t want the people to choose for themselves, they want to fob off any debate by waiting for “an organic deeply felt discussion about who we are”.

In other words they want to put off any debate and any choice.

The editorial runs through the standard anti-change arguments in Do we know who we are?

They don’t like how John Key is proposing to see if the people of New Zealand want a flag change, they have the usual anti-black arguments (it’s easy to come up with arguments against most colours), they are anti-silver fern.

And they want to postpone any flag debate until we have some vague exploration about “who we are”.

So far the question of whether New Zealand actually needs a new symbol to represent itself has not taken place. This attitude seems to reflect the general indifference to any change to the constitution found by the panel set up to elicit views on that subject a few years ago.

Given that the flag will be the symbol to represent the country virtually in perpetuity, a wider, more deeply felt discussion about who we are needs to occur first. That must be organic. It is not something that can be generated by prime ministerial fiat.

That sounds like a long-winded way of saying they want to put off a flag debate indefinitely.

There’s no reason why we can’t have a discussion about whether we want to change our flag and decide whether to do so. It is not dependent on vague notions of “who we are” that can never easily be answered. We are many things and are continually evolving as a country and as a people.

One thing is for sure, we have evolved long past having close ties with the United Kingdom and the Union Jack.

And we have evolved way past wanting to be confused with Australia.

A flag debate can easily happen on it’s own. Trying to involve constitution and national identity are excuses to not have a debate.

People who don’t want a flag change don’t want a debate. They want to deny choice, presumably because they fair that the people will choose something different to what they want, no change.

New Zealand voted on to Security Council

New Zealand has just been voted on to the United Nations Security Council, topping both Spain and Turkey on the first ballot. A second ballot will decide who of the other two also get a seat for 2015 and 2016.

First ballot vote (a two third 129 votes from 193 members required):

  • New Zealand 145
  • Spain 121
  • Turkey 109

(Update: after two more ballots Spain got the second seat).

The Government, particularly through Foreign Minister Murray McCully have worked hard to secure this seat but have been helped by Labour’s David Shearer.

Having Helen Clark in the number 3 position at the UN (head of United Nations Development) will have continued to help, it was Clark who initiated the campaign for the seat ten years ago.

New Zealand and the other successful country will represent ‘Western European and others’. Angola, Malaysia and Venezuela stand uncontested for the seats in their regional groups.

There are 15 seats on the council, five held by the permanent members China, France, Russia, the UK and the US, plus 10 non-permanent members serving two-year terms.

Topping the ballot is an indication of the degree of respect given New Zealand internationally. New Zealand was last represented on the Security Council by Colin Keating in 1993/94. Last year Keating gave a speech supporting and explaining this bid:

The UN Security Council: What is in it for New Zealand?

by Colin Keating
Presentation to the United Nations Association of NZ 2013 National Conference, Wellington | 18 May 2013

As everyone in this audience is aware, New Zealand is a candidate for election to the UN Security Council. If elected, New Zealand will serve a two-year term as one of ten elected members of the council, and will also sit with the five Permanent Members of the Council, China, France, Russia, the UK and the USA.

The election will be held in October 2014. So it is just 17 months away. It is a closely fought contest. There are two vacant seats and three candidates, New Zealand, Spain and Turkey.

New Zealand is not a stranger to contested elections for the Security Council. New Zealand last served on the Council in 1993/94 – exactly twenty years ago. To win that seat New Zealand had to defeat Sweden. So we know what it takes to win against larger and richer countries.

Part of our appeal is that New Zealand is not greedy in seeking election too often. In this regard, when campaigning, we don’t need to rub in the fact that our competitors seek election much more often that we do. This is watched closely by the 109 small states that are members of the UN and who are our natural constituency. They know very well that Spain was last on the Council only 8 years ago – and Turkey only two years ago.

I believe that New Zealand is very well placed to win. We already have very strong support in all regions. And the New Zealand story resonates very well everywhere. But there is no denying the fact that this will be a very hard election. We are up against two significant competitors.

The Government has made it clear that New Zealand is not going to try, as some countries do, to buy votes. For New Zealand that would be silly. Once you start down that track small countries can easily be outbid.

Nor will New Zealand shift its policies or values to attract votes. Again, to do that would be silly. One of the things about New Zealand that really appeals around the world is its consistency and its honest, constructive and balanced positions. Tilting our positions to curry favour with this or that demandeur would actually undermine our strong value proposition.

It also needs to be acknowledged that this election campaign has to be managed in a very tight fiscal context. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade is funding the campaign from within its existing budget. This of course requires some very careful reprioritisation of expenditure. The Ministry has had to limit some of its other activities accordingly. Again this is not a new experience. The last Security Council campaign in 1991/92 was similarly fought under very tight budget constraints. And the refocusing of effort that occurred at that time, in my view, actually strengthened and reenergised the Ministry in many ways.

But, given the real electoral challenge that we are facing and appreciating the time and effort that is required by Ministers Special Envoys and officials to campaign across 192 countries, I think it is very important to be able to set out exactly why this is a good idea and what is in it for New Zealand.

There will be some New Zealanders who wondering why we are doing this. Others may ask why don’t we spend the money on something at home or on promoting New Zealand business overseas. These are important questions and need to be answered.

The short answer is that the campaign is not taking money away from domestic priorities or from funding for overseas promotion. It is only using money that MFAT would have been spending anyway.

But this does not address the underlying question of why we would want this in the first place.

I want to set out for you my answer to that question. It is very much a personal opinion. It is based on my experience of the 1991/92 Security Council campaign, of my time in New York as the New Zealand Ambassador representing New Zealand on the Security Council in 1993/94 and also my recent experience in New York setting up and running for 7 years a brand new think tank called Security Council Report to monitor and make accessible to the public the work of the Security Council.

 I must stress that I am not speaking for the Government – although as many of you are aware I am helping the Government with the campaign as an independent adviser and as a Special Envoy of the Prime Minister.

The first point that I want to make is that, when you are campaigning for election to the Security Council, you never need to answer the question why are you running for election when speaking to other Governments. Election to the Security Council is the most highly coveted electoral prize for countries around the world. Almost all Governments would like to get it and they understand completely why it makes sense to go for it. Often they have slightly different reasons, but the bottom line is that everyone understands intuitively why it is a priority.

So what are the drivers for New Zealand? Why would New Zealanders be interested in this?

I believe, and this is based on a lot of years of hearing from New Zealanders on foreign policy issues, that there are probably three quite distinct reasons, which may make sense to three different groups of New Zealanders.

These three groups, in very general terms, might be called:

  • The peace and justice community
  • The business community
  • The security community

There is of course quite a lot of overlap in practice between these three groups, and all the more so when global crises may affect all three.

Let us start with the peace and justice community. There is a strong sense amongst many New Zealanders, often based in the Churches, the NGO groups, the academic world and the Unions that, as a country blessed with resources and being a safe distance from conflict situations, we have a moral and political obligation to show leadership in helping resolve conflicts and promoting peace and justice.

For this community being a member of the Security Council offers a unique opportunity for New Zealand. The Security Council is the only global institution with real power. Many media commentators focus on its coercive powers, its ability to sanction countries and individuals, its power to bring the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court to bear on individuals, its role as the only legitimate source of authority for intervention or even the use of force.

To my mind an even greater power of the Council is its capacity, in practice, to take decisions that result in the collective appropriation of money so that all 193 members share in the cost of peace operations. This is a hugely important tool in bringing resources to the field to help bring peace and justice.

There are currently 13 peacekeeping missions and 34 special political missions being overseen by the Security Council. The budget for these missions is almost US$8 billion. How these operations are working and how well they are delivering for affected populations are things that the Churches, the NGOs and the advocacy groups follow very closely. In New York, the delegations of civil society lobbying the Security Council are probably better informed and better resourced than many of the elected Security Council members.

The value of being on the Security Council and having a capacity to make a difference in conflict situations is therefore well understood by most in the peace and justice community. And the good experience from NZs term on the Council in 1993/94 gives encouragement that NZ can make a difference.

Turning to the business community, it is important to understand that for a country like New Zealand the competitive edge for our exporters is absolutely critical to our economy, to jobs and ultimately the quality of our society. But for small or new exporters making deals in foreign markets is very difficult. You need networks you need access to decision makers. You need national visibility and – when things go wrong – as they often do – you need political access with real impact.

One thing is clear from our term on the Council in 1993/94 – when you are on the Security Council – especially if you are taking a high profile role – you do get visibility in all of the major markets around the world. You are seen sitting at the top table. The influence that that carries can be very significant when exporters need help. When you want to raise something bilaterally you get taken much more seriously. You get unparalleled political access. And even more importantly we found in the 1990s that if you are effective on the Council and pull real weight, the benefits are not limited to the two-year term. They can continue for a decade or more.

This lifting of the NZ profile, this enhanced visibility and the access opportunities that go with it can be leveraged very effectively to assist wider NZ interests. And this can only be of assistance to the business community.

Next I would like to talk about the benefits of a Security Council term for the security community. In doing so I not only include the NZDF and the families of our military personnel and our veterans, but also in a wider sense all New Zealanders.

We are all affected when risks are taken and NZ forces are deployed into combat situations overseas. Losses, when they occur, are felt by everybody. The evidence of this is clear from the huge support around the country in recent years for ANZAC Day events including by young people. And the same is true for New Zealanders overseas, who flock to ANZAC Day events in large numbers.

If you visit the Army Museum in Waiouru, you will see the compelling displays and the graphic reminders that across the whole history of our country every 20 years or so, on average, young New Zealanders have been sent into situations of combat or armed violence.

Another thing you will learn at the Army Museum is the determination to learn from the experiences in the First World War, and some also in the Second World War, where New Zealand suffered unreasonable casualties because of bad command decisions by commanders from other countries.

Recently, although the numbers of New Zealand personnel deployed overseas have been lower than in the past, the frequency has been much higher. Think of where we have been since the end of the Cold War – Somalia, Angola, Mozambique, Bosnia, Bougainville, Timor, the Solomons and Afghanistan – to name just the most prominent. 

In the light of this trend, the security community, all of us, have a very strong interest in maximising the New Zealand voice at decision-making tables. This means not only in the Security Council, where very important decisions are sometimes taken, but also in terms of influence and leverage by other decision makers whose decisions may be the difference between life and death for our military personnel.

A strong and effective New Zealand term on the Security Council every now and then gives us the credibility, the mana and the political access to be taken seriously on these matters. And our military personnel and their families and the New Zealand public at large have every reason to expect the Government and our diplomats will seize such an important opportunity as a term on the Security Council to reinforce that sort of credibility, mana and access.

And finally, although our geography means that we live in about as safe a part of the world as you could imagine, it is clear that in the 21st century security is threatened increasingly by unconventional risks, be they terrorism, narcotics and people smugglers cyber attacks and criminal networks. And, for our pacific island neighbours, the unconventional security risk presented by climate change is becoming increasingly real. All these issues can only be addressed by multilateral collective responses and they are already on the agenda of the Security Council.

I believe that in a country like New Zealand there is a real convergence of interest between the peace and justice community, the business community and the security community, and that it makes real sense for all of them to be strongly behind our determined race to win a seat on the Security Council.

On changing the flag

One of John Key’s third term ambitions is to change the flag. I support this. I think a distinctive New Zealand flag will give our country a proud identity.

Stuff reports Key moves for poll on change to flag:

Prime Minister John Key has started laying out his third term agenda, including a vote on changing the flag next year.

Key flew into Wellington’s gale force winds yesterday with the intention of putting his third term government together by the end of the week.

He confirmed a flag debate next year, the same year Kiwis mark Anzac Day 100-year anniversary commemorations at Gallipoli.

“I’d like to complete the whole process next year. I don’t think it’s one of those things we want to hang around,” Key said.

The debate will be decided by referendum, and Key has already started making the case for change, labelling the current design of a Union Jack and the Southern Cross a relic from New Zealand’s colonial past.

But the Returned and Services Association has already lined up against any change.

The flag will be keenly debated.

NZ Herald report Key wants flag vote by 2015:

Mr Key had made an election promise to hold a referendum before 2017 if re-elected and said yesterday that he would bring it forward.

He had outlined a plan for a cross-party group of MPs to recommend the best process for referenda and a steering group to ensure the public had the opportunity to engage in discussion on the flag, and submit designs.

Mr Key suggested a two-stage referendum; first a vote for the best alternative flag from three or four options. Then, the winning design would run off against the existing flag.

Critics argue that the present flag is easily confused with those of other former British colonies, including Australia.

See flag examples below.

But supporters say it would dishonour the memory of New Zealanders who had fought and died under the flag if the design was changed. The Returned Services Association had said it would oppose any change.

National president Don McIver, who could not be reached yesterday, had earlier said the flag held a special status for soldiers who had fought under it and it should not be changed.

I’ve posted on how closely related the silver fern has been in our military history:

And here’s a repost on flag alternatives:

There’s been a number of alternative New Zealand flags suggested in the past.  One popular version is this Kyle Lockwood design.

Kyle Lockwood flagDavid Farrar has posted Another flag design at Kiwiblog:

NZ-flag-suggestion-600x330I prefer the latter with black, this connects more with the very familiar fern on black but still retains connections with the current flag colours and design.

The Lockwood design was also featured in An alternate flag design at Kiwiblog:

New-Flag-LineupThe distinctive Canadian maple leaf was a successful change from one of many similar designs. That’s the Australian flag at the back, which is often confused with this:

NZ flagThat shows one of the main drawbacks with the current flag, many people find it hard to be sure if it is our flag, the Australian flag or one of the other similar flags.

Glenn Greenwald in New Zealand

Media interviews with Glenn Greenwald on his New Zealand visit to speak at a public meeting arranged by Kim Dotcom plus related coverage.

The Nation: Interview Glenn Greenwald

United States journalist Glenn Greenwald says there are serious questions about whether the New Zealand Government was truthful about the GCSB law change.

“What I can tell you is that the statement that the GCSB made to New Zealand citizens last year — ‘We do not engage in mass surveillance of New Zealanders’ — is one that is not truthful.”

The Government engages in “extraordinary amounts of analysis of metadata – meaning who’s talking to whom for how long, where they are when they speak – on a massive, indiscriminate scale, not just internationally but of New Zealanders as well”.

He says New Zealand is an active member of the Five Eyes Alliance and spends an extraordinary amount of resources on electronic surveillance.

“…Every single thing that the NSA does that we have been reporting on over the last year and a couple of months involves New Zealand directly.”

The GCSB spies on a variety of countries, both hostile and allies. New Zealand spy agencies also have access to the XKeyscore spyware and contributes to it.

In his first television interview in New Zealand, he talks to Lisa Owen about the Edward Snowden leaks and how New Zealand agencies are involved in spying here and abroad.

Mr Greenwald is in New Zealand for Kim Dotcom’s “moment of truth” announcement on Monday night.

Lisa Owen Interviews National Party Leader John Key

We’ve only got a little bit of time left, so I just want to ask you one more time. Glenn Greenwald, the investigative journalist, is going to be on this show shortly. What do you think he’s got on New Zealand, and should you be worried?

Don’t know, but Kim Dotcom might not like surveillance agencies or intelligence agencies. Fair enough. He’s got his own reasons, and he can look himself in the mirror and ask himself why. But for other New Zealanders, there is a risk in New Zealand. It’s much smaller than other countries, but there is a risk. And as prime minister, I have to take the responsibility to do everything I can to protect New Zealanders.

NZ Herald: He’s Dotcom’s little henchman: PM attacks journalist’s spy claims

Greenwald, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, said that New Zealand’s spying agencies had been conducting mass surveillance on New Zealanders as part of the Five Eyes arrangement between the US, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

Mr Key said that was wrong. “There is no mass surveillance of New Zealanders by the GCSB and there never has been. Mr Dotcom’s little henchman will be proven to be incorrect because he is incorrect.”

He believed Greenwald was jumping to conclusions based on partial information. Greenwald has worked with Edward Snowden over material Mr Snowden obtained relating to the activities of spy agencies worldwide.

NZ Q&A Video: The GCSB engages in mass surveillance – Glenn Greenwald (0:46)

Pulitzer prize winning journalist Glenn Greenwald says the GCSB engages in mass surveillance

NZ Q&A: Key “rejected mass surveillance plan”

John Key: GCSB looked into a mass surveillance plan but he rejected it

National Party leader John Key told TV1’s Q+A programme that the GCSB looked into a plan for mass surveillance after two companies were subjected to a major cyber-attack – but he rejected it.

“ What ended up actually happening though was in about September of 2012 obviously there was the shake-up of GCSB, I brought in Rebecca Kitteridge, I started saying to the agency look, firstly your law needs to change, secondly your institution needs to strengthen, and thirdly I’m a little uncomfortable with where you’re sorting to go. I think you’re actually arguing this far too broadly. Even though a lot of New Zealanders might like it, because it’s really a Norton anti-virus at a very high level.”

Mr Key said he would produce proof that New Zealanders are not subject to mass surveillance, as claimed by Journalist Glenn Greenwald.

“ This is the point around the politics of all this. He’s had these documents for well over a year or so, so he’s miraculously turning up 5 days before, 6 days before an election to try and bamboozle people, and try and make all of these claims which don’t stack up. But he’s only seen one bit you see, he’s hacked in, he’s seen all of this information, he said aha gotcha, and of course what he doesn’t realise is none of that ever happened. So I’ll be able to produce the document that says here’s rescinding the asking of the business case, here’s the document that actually shows what’s taken place.

Q&A Video: Government considered mass surveillance but ruled it out – John Key (9:51)

Metro: Steve Braunias’ Campaign Diary: Day 9


Family Violence data

There has been a lot of debate on violence since David Cunliffe released Labour’s anti-violence policy yesterday. Cunliffe started his speech by saying:

‘‘Can I begin by saying I’m sorry – I don’t often say it – I’m sorry for being a man, right now. Because family and sexual violence is perpetrated overwhelmingly by men against women and children,’’ he said.

Labour’s media release said:

Labour will take decisive and far-reaching action to address violence against women and children, says Labour Leader David Cunliffe.

Questions have been asked about why Cunliffe has apologised as a man and why Labour have solely targeted violence against women and children.

More men than women are more violent but aren’t solely responsible for violence. (It should be noted that violence outside of family violence is far more often male versus male).

Here is the latest data summary from the New Zealand Family Violence Clearing House.

Data Summaries 2013: Snapshot

This snapshot is drawn from the five NZFVC 2013 Data Summaries. Refer to the Data Summaries for definitions and caveats on the data below.

Family violence

  • In 2012, there were 87,622 family violence investigations by NZ Police. 101,293 children were linked to these investigations.[1]
  • In 2011, 4064 applications were made for protection orders:

-          2776 (91%) were made by women and 230 (8%) by men

-          2655 (88%) of respondents were men and 321 (11%) women.[2]

  • In 2011, there were 7896recorded male assaults female offences and 5232 recorded offences for breaching a protection order.2
  • In 2011/12, Women’s Refuges affiliated to the National Collective of Independent Women’s Refuges received 85,794 crisis calls. 8930 women and 7005 children accessed advocacy services in the community. 2273 women and 1424 children stayed in safe houses.[3]
  • 1 in 3 (35.4%) ever-partnered New Zealand women report having experienced physical and/or sexual IPV in their lifetime. When psychological/emotional abuse is included, 55% report having experienced IPV in their lifetime. In the 12 months prior to the survey, 5.2% had experiencedphysical and/or sexual IPV. When psychological/emotional abuse was included, 18.2% had experienced one or more forms of IPV.[4]
  • In 2011, NZ Police recorded 11 homicides by an intimate partner. 9 of the victims were women and 2 were men.[5]
  • 16.8% of New Zealand women report having experienced sexual violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime; 2% in the last 12 months.4
  • In 2011, there were 1,575 reported sexual offences against an adult over 16 years.1
  • In 2011/12, Child, Youth and Family received 152,800 reports of concern. 61,074 were deemed to require further action, leading to 21,525 findings of abuse or neglect. 3884 children were in care placements.[7]
  • In 2011, NZ Police recorded 12 homicides of children and young people under 20 by a family member.5 In 2011, 113 children and youth were hospitalised for a serious non-fatal assault perpetrated by a family member.[8]
  • Between 1 in 3[9] and 1 in 5[10] New Zealand women and 1 in 109 men report having experienced child sexual abuse. 1 in 5 female and 1 in 20 male secondary school students report having experienced unwanted sexual contact in the last 12 months.[11]
  • In 2011, there were 1856 reported sexual offences against a child under 16 years.1
  • 10% of secondary school students report witnessing adults at home hitting or physically hurting each other once or more in the last year.11

Intimate partner violence (IPV)

Adult sexual assault

  • 29% of New Zealand women and 9% of men report having experienced sexual assault in their lifetime. 73% of these assaults against women and 54% of these assaults against men were perpetrated by a partner, ex-partner or other family member.[6]

Children and young people

  • In 2011/12, Child, Youth and Family received 152,800 reports of concern. 61,074 were deemed to require further action, leading to 21,525 findings of abuse or neglect. 3884 children were in care placements.[1]
  • In 2011, NZ Police recorded 12 homicides of children and young people under 20 by a family member.5 In 2011, 113 children and youth were hospitalised for a serious non-fatal assault perpetrated by a family member.[2]
  • Between 1 in 3[3] and 1 in 5[4] New Zealand women and 1 in 109 men report having experienced child sexual abuse. 1 in 5 female and 1 in 20 male secondary school students report having experienced unwanted sexual contact in the last 12 months.[5]
  • In 2011, there were 1856 reported sexual offences against a child under 16 years.1
  • 10% of secondary school students report witnessing adults at home hitting or physically hurting each other once or more in the last year.11


[1]Child, Youth and Family. (2013). Retrieved June 2013, from

[2] National Health Board Business Unit. (2011). National minimum dataset (Hospital events): Data Dictionary. Wellington: Ministry of Health.

[3]van Roode, T, Dickson, N, Herbison, P, Paul, C. (2009). Child sexual abuse and persistence of risky sexual behaviors and negative sexual outcomes over adulthood: Findings from a birth cohort. Child Abuse & Neglect, 33,161–172.

[4]Fanslow, JL, Robinson, EM, Crengle, S, Perese, L. (2007). Prevalence of child sexual abuse reported by a cross-sectional sample of New Zealand women. Child Abuse & Neglect, 31, 935–945.

[5]Clark, TC., Robinson, E., Crengle, S., Grant, S., Galbreath, RA. & Sykora, J. (2009). Youth ’07: The Health and Wellbeing of Secondary School Students in New Zealand. Findings on Young People and Violence. Auckland: The University of Auckland. Retrieved June 2013, from

[1]New Zealand Police. (2013). Customised data extract

[2]Ministry of Justice (2013, February). [District and Family Court Data: Personal Communication].

[3] National Collective of Independent Women’s Refuges. (2012). Annual Report: July 2011–June 2012. Wellington: NCIWR. Retrieved June 2013, from

[4] Fanslow, JL et al. (2011). Sticks, Stones, or Words? Counting the Prevalence of Different Types of Intimate Partner Violence Reported by New Zealand Women. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 20, 741–759.

[5] New Zealand Police. (2011). Homicide Victims Report, 2011. Retrieved February 2013, from

[6] Mayhew, P. Reilly, JL. (2009). The New Zealand Crime and Safety Survey. In Family Violence Statistics Report. Wellington: Families Commission, August. Retrieved June 2013, from

[7]Child, Youth and Family. (2013). Retrieved June 2013, from

[8] National Health Board Business Unit. (2011). National minimum dataset (Hospital events): Data Dictionary. Wellington: Ministry of Health.

[9]van Roode, T, Dickson, N, Herbison, P, Paul, C. (2009). Child sexual abuse and persistence of risky sexual behaviors and negative sexual outcomes over adulthood: Findings from a birth cohort. Child Abuse & Neglect, 33,161–172.

[10]Fanslow, JL, Robinson, EM, Crengle, S, Perese, L. (2007). Prevalence of child sexual abuse reported by a cross-sectional sample of New Zealand women. Child Abuse & Neglect, 31, 935–945.

[11]Clark, TC., Robinson, E., Crengle, S., Grant, S., Galbreath, RA. & Sykora, J. (2009). Youth ’07: The Health and Wellbeing of Secondary School Students in New Zealand. Findings on Young People and Violence. Auckland: The University of Auckland. Retrieved June 2013, from


Cunliffe’s calamity

As soon as I heard a report of Cunliffe saying sorry for being a man I thought it would would be bad for him. And that’s how it is looking. While some have praised him for “speaking bravely” many many people, both men and women, have reacted negatively. Some very negatively.

Cunliffe has gaffed too much already, but this could be the gaffe to top all gaffes. It could be a calamity for his leadership. People don’t respect apologetic wimps.

He obviously doesn’t under stand the violence debate well. Neither do those who have advised him on this approach.

Sure some would have thought it was a great approach, especially for a women’s refuge audience. But his speech was also aimed at a much wider audience. It was a major policy launch.

But there was no way an apology like that, whether staged or authentic, was going to go down well with many people. Men and women.

One problem is that people want party leaders to be strong and confident. Saying you are sorry for being what you are portrays the opposite.

Another problem is that this feeds into the image of the Labour party being dominated by women. By targeting the opening of his speech very clearly at a very feminine (and feminist) audience reinforces this.

But the biggest problem by far is that stating he is sorry for being a man in general terms implies that he thinks he is to blame for male violence, and that he thinks all men are to blame for violence.

That implication really really gets up the nose of many men. Especially men who abhor violence and would do anything they can to confront and reduce the violence in our society. Men like me.

Men who are proud to be what they are and who they are.

And the reaction from some women has been very negative as well. From a fundamental level of not respecting apologetic theatrics. And on a more common sense and practical level.

Deborah Morris-Travers of children’s lobby group Every Child Counts said:

‘‘One of the solutions to family violence is having all men healthy, educated, feeling good about being parents, feeling supported and engaged in their community and having a strong identity – not apologising for being male.’’

We need strong leadership to address appalling violence in our society. We need strong male role models.

The Cunliffe of yesterdays speech is not someone many people can look up to. They don’t just see his comment as wrong, they feel insulted.

This isn’t superficial tribal politics. It goes much deeper and personal. It questions the decency of all men.

So far Cunliffe has stood by his comment. It’s difficult to see how he can repair the damage and recover any respect he may have had with many people.

This could be Cunliffe’s clinching calamity.

We may now see this excuse for a man limp to an election lashing.

Someone else will have to lead the campaign against violence. Someone who can stand tall and can be respected.

Political doom merchants be damned, socially we’re tops

Those who think New Zealand is going to hell in a handbasket should instead be proud of our greatness.

NZ Ranked World’s Most Socially Advanced Country

New Zealand topped the rankings across a wide range of measures–according to the Social Progress Index 2014 which ranks 132 countries based on their social and environmental performance. The result was described as “exceptional” by Michael Green, Executive Directive of the Social Progress Imperative.

Key New Zealand findings:

Of the 54 indicators measured within each country to make up the overall Index ranking, New Zealand scores top spot in no less than 20, across a wide variety of different measures. These include tying in first place globally on measures of homicide (less than 2 per 100,000 people); levels of corruption and religious tolerance.


H New Zealand scores strongly on the ‘Access to Basic Knowledge’ component finishing 2nd globally. Included in this is secondary school enrollment on which New Zealand scores top.

H New Zealand also finishes top ranked on ‘Personal Freedom and Choice’, owing to impressive results on religious freedoms and freedom over life choices.

H On ‘Tolerance and Inclusion’ New Zealand scores fourth globally, thanks partly to its high tolerance for immigrants and religious tolerance.

H On the ‘Access to Information and Communications’ measure New Zealand scores 7th globally, which is a relatively strong result compared to countries of a similar GDP. The result owes partly to an exceptionally high rate of mobile telephone subscriptions (more than 110 for every 100 people) as well as ranking number one globally for press freedoms.

Other findings

According to the researchers New Zealand doesn’t have any specific weaknesses.

Maybe they didn’t look very closely in some of the political, and everything is relative, but this is a good pat on the back for the quality of life in New Zealand.

Flag alternatives

There’s been a number of alternative New Zealand flags suggested in the past.  One popular version is this Kyle Lockwood design.

Kyle Lockwood flag

David Farrar has posted Another flag design at Kiwiblog:


I prefer the latter with black, this connects more with the very familiar fern on black but still retains connections with the current flag colours and design.

The Lockwood design was also featured in An alternate flag design at Kiwiblog:



That’s the Australian flag at the back.

NZ flag

That shows one of the main drawbacks with the current flag, many people find it hard to be sure if it is our flag, the Australian flag or one of the other similar flags.

New Zealandified Movie Titles

Friday night at the movies in New Zealand – hashtag heaven #NewZealandifiedMovieTitles

A fascinating insight into Kiwi culture, current affairs, politics, social issues, history, humour.

Note: this is mostly in alphabetic order but:
– some similar titles are grouped together
– changed words and spellings change the order eg The Tegal Has Landed
– titles starting with A and The are grouped

10 Lamington Place
10 Things I Hate About Aussies
10 Things I hate about having a fufs
12 Angry Bros
12 John Keys
12 Mild Men
12 Years A National Government
12 Years a Palangi
12 Years a Slave to an Average Education System
24 Hour National Party People
3.10 to YeahNah
40 bros and 40 tinnys
50 Shades of Grey-Lynn
50 Shades of Greymouth
50 Sheds of Grey
88 Nek Minuts

A Bridge Too Taniwha
A Clockwork Karaka
A Clockwork Kiwifruit
A Clockwork Orange Roughy
A Cortina Called Desire
A Day In The Life Of Joe Egmont
A Few Choice Blokes
A Few Dollars Moa
A Few Good Fellas
A Fush Called Sharon
A Fush Called Wanda

A Hongi Before Dying
A Karakia for the Dying
A Knight’s Better Work Story
A Life Less Lorde-inary
A Midsummer Naati Dream
A Mid Sumner Nights Dream
A Morningside Story
A Native Affair To Remember
A Pa Sage Te in Di
A Pash Before Dying
A Passage to Invercargill
A Place Beyond the Kaimais
A Rugby League of Their Own
A Shelley Bridgeman Too Far
A Streetcar Named Hilux
A Suitable Poi
A Tale of Two Islands
A Trolley Bus Named Desire
A View From The Top (of Mt Eden)
A View To A Kilburnie

A&P Showgirls
Air Force Gone
Air Force None
All About Steve (Hansen)
All Black Beauty
All Black Hawk Down
All Black To the Future
All the Prime Minister’s Men
Almost Famous
All Quiet on the Western Hutt Motorway
All Quiet on the Westland Front
American Werewolf in Queenstown
Anchorman: the legend of Mike McRoberts

Aotearoa Now
Apocalypse Nah
Apocalypse Now, Yeah, Nah
Apocalypse Now. Or Whenever. Yes, Next Week Is Fine
Apopsicalypse Now

Are we in Mangere yet?
Auckland of the Dead
Austin’s Paua
Aw Bro Where Areya

Bad Pois
Back to the Bene
Back to the City of the Future
Back to the Fry Up
Back to the Fu-chur
Back to United Future

Backblocks Mountain
Bain Man
Bastion Point Break
Batman And Robyn Malcolm
Beauty & The Horey
Becks and Clyde (Central Otago version)
Beehive Down
Being John Campbell
Ben Chur
Berm, Interrupted
Best Exotic Manukau Hotel
Best Exotic Manurewa Hotel
Big Momma’s Bach
Big Trouble In Little Otara
Bill & Ted’s Bogan Journey
Bill of Arawhata
Bill English’s Patience
Billy T Elliott
Billy T. James Bond
Bingo Night Fever
Bird On A No 8 Wire
BJ & the Beersies
Black (Power) Swan
Blade Rangi
Blazing Paddles
Bloody Aussies
Blow on the River Pie
Bluff Justice
Boil up mountains
Bombay Hills Cop
Bonnie and Clymidia
Bonnie and Clyde dam
Born On The Sixth Of February
Breaker Meurant

Breakfast At Denny’s
Breakfast at Kirkcaldie and Stains
Breakfast At Mackers
Breakfast At Michael Hill’s
Breakfast at Tipene’s

Bridge Over The River Kahawai
Bridge Over the River Kai
Bridge Over the River Kiwi
Bridge Over The River Waik-ato

Bridget Jones’s Dairy
(Bring Back) Uncle Buck
Bro, where’s my car?
Brokeback Subaru
Brownlee Is the Warmest Colour
Bert Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Bush Gump
Butch Cassidy And The Milky Bar Kid

Cadbury and the Dream Factory
Cambo Unchained
Carnal Knowledge Wave
Carry on Politician
Casablanket Bay
Casino Sky City
Cat on Gareth Morgan’s Hot Tin Roof
Catch Me If Youse Can
Catton a Hot Tin Roof
Che fu Panda
Cheryl Moana Marie Antoinette
Chuang-go Unchained
Cinema Paremoremo

Citizen Bain
Citizen Key
Citizen Kiwi
Citizen Shane
Citizen Tane

Close Encounters of a Third Term
Close Encounters of the Herd Kind
Cloudy with a chance of boil-ups
Cloudy with a chance of doughboys
Cocky 4
Cold Mount Eden
Colin Craig’s Rules Of Attraction
Conrad the Hurricane
Cook Strait Story
Cool Bunnings
Corrugated Ironman
Country Calendar Girls
Crazy, Sexy, Hory
Crouchin junkies, Hidden meth pipes
Crouching Lager, Hidden Flagon
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Flagon
Cruising (with spokey dokeys)
Cry The Beloved Country Calendar
Cuz & The Missus Smith

Dai Hard
Damo and Rangi make a porno
Dances With Sheep
Dances with Wahines
Dances with Wetas
Dances With Wool
Dannevirke Buyers Club
Dannevirke Darko
Das Gumboot
Dawn Raiders Of The Lost Ark
Days of Jimmy Thunder
Days of Te Puke Thunder
Dead Paua Society
Dear John Key

Debbie Does Dannevirke
Debbie Does Dunners
Debbie Does Dunsandel
Debbie does Fellas

Der Tui Dozen
Desperately Seeking Susan Paul
Despicable Key
Despicable Trade Me

Dial M for Mangere
Dial M for Moerewa
Dial M for Motat
Dial M for Murchison

Diary of a Wussy Kid
Die Hard As
Dirty Hopetoun St Dancing
District Naenae
Djamie Unridged
Djandal Unchained
Doc Wellywood
Don John
Donnie Dargaville
Dr Jekyll and Mr Rodney Hyde
Dr Not Even
Dr Strangebrash
Dr Yeah Nah
Drongo Unchained
Drop Dead Gore-geous
Dude Where’s Our Bus?
Dude Where’s My Cortina?
Dude, Where’s My Kingswood?
Dudes wheres my waka?

Dungeons and Dairies

East of Dunedin
East of Eden Park
East of Epsom
East of Mt Eden

Easy (Jesse) Ryder
Eat The Richie McCaw
Edmund Scissorhands
Educating Pita
Edward has no hands – they’re scissors for goodness sake
Enemy of the State Highway 27
Enter The Marae
Erin Brockovich: Christine Rankin
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotted Kiwi

Fabulous Mr Foxton
Faster Pussycat, It’s Gareth Morgan!
Fear and Loathing in Rotovegas
Fear and Loathing in Te Awamutu
Fear of Clothing in Rotovegas
Feijoas are not the only fruit
Ferris Bueller’s Laid Off
Feilding of dreams
Fight Pub
Final Crime
Finding Hone
Finding Wiremu
Fistful of Lollies
Flatman Begins
Flash-As Dance
For Your Ewes Only

Forgetting CERA Marshall
Forgetting Justin Marshall
Forrest Crump
Forrest “Gumby”
Friends On Benefits
From Here to Eketahuna
From Heretaunga to Eternity
From Rakaia With Love
From Rotorua With Love
Four Weddings and a Tangi
Free Willy Jackson
Full Swandri Jacket

Gangs of New Plymouth
George of the Bush
Get Emirates Team New Zealand to the Greek
Get ShortyLand street
Get Dan Carter
Ghost Chip Rider
Ghost Chips
Ghostchip Busters
Ghosts of the Twizel Dead
Girth Of A Nation

Go Aks Alice
Gone in 60 Seconds (after robbing the corner dairy)
Gone in Sexty Succonds
Gone In Six60 Seconds

Gone With The Windfall Profits
Gone With The WINZ
Gone with the Wellington Wind

Good Eel Hunting
Good Will (Pig) Hunting
Good Will Huntly
Good With Hangi
Good Bye Georgie Pie
Goodbye, Fush n Chups
Goodbye, Mr Chups
Gore – An Inconvenient Truth
Gore Fullas in the Mist
Gorillas in the Long White Cloud

Gran Turangi
Grand Torana
Green Street Hoerangi’s
Ground Hedgehog Day
Groundhogget Day
Grouse Point Blank
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner in China
Guess Who’s Coming to Dunners
Gulp Fiction
Gumboots Without a Cause

Hamilton Buyers Club
Hamilton Village of the damned
Hamiltron Legacy

Hangi Games
Hangi Up
Hangin’ With Mr Kupe
Happy Aaron Gilmore
Harold & Kumara Go To White Castle
Harold & Kumar go to White Lady

Harry Ngata and The Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potsmoker
Harry Potter and the CBD Alcohol Ban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of DB
Harry Potter and the Order of the Wellington Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Pensioner of Allandale
Harry Potter and the Philospher’s Stoned
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Mount Eden
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Rimutaka
Henare Potter
Hori Potter
Hori Potter and the Goblet of Lion Red

Hedgehog Day
Helen Clerks
Helen Doesn’t Live Here Any More
Hemi & The Giant Hangi
Hemi Elliot
Herbi in Tarras
Heroes of Telethon
Hey dude,where’s my Mark3 Zephyr?
Hilary Barry Lyndon
Home Alone on Redtube
Homebrand Hairspray

Hone and Silent Hemi
Hone Heke and the Maori Kid
Hone Hoke’s Family Reunion
Hone I Shrunk the Kids
Hone Potter & The Philosopher’s Stoned
Hone Ropata Flew Over the Kaka’s Nest
Hone the Barbarian
Hone With the Wind

Hope for Red September
Hori story
Horowhenua, Mon Amour
Hot Pool Time Machine
House of Key
How Benji got his groove back
How to Drain Your Flagon
How to lose a Bloke in 10 Days
How To Lose A Guy Williams In 10 Days
How To Lose The America’s Cup In 10 Days
How to Play Your Dragon (cover)
How to Train Your Taniwha
Human Nate-Cher
Hunt For Red Kumera
Hunt for the Red Toyota
Hunt for Red Otorohanga
Huntly For Red October
Hurricane The True Story of I wish we had Daniel Carter

I Know My First Name is Stephen Donald
I Know What You Did Last Waitangi
I Know What You Didymo Lake Sumner
I Now Pronounce You, Jake and Beth
I Love Loosies
Ida Valley of the Dolls
In Her Jandals
In The Heat of The Hangi
Indiana Cones
Into the Waikato
Invercargill Jones and the Last Crusade
Ironboy Toru
Iron Manawatu
Iron Manu
It Takes Two To Tangohia

James and the Giant Sesh
Jandal Unchained
Jesus Christchurch Superstar
Jesus Christ Tall Poppy
John Key Largo
John Key-hote
John Key of Wall Street
John Tamihere Must Die
Judge (One) Dredd

K-Road to Ruin
Kai, Karakia, Aroha
Karangahape Gilmore
KeeWee’s Big Adventure
Key Largo
Key’s Larger
Key Westport
Kia Ora Dolly
Kill Bill English
Kill Bulls
Killer Klowns From Bailter Space
Kindergarten Kaukapakapa

King Bong and Justspotting
King Kapisi Kong
Kingi Kong
Kiwi Herman’s Big Adventure
Kung Fu Paua

L&P Confidential
Labour Day
Lady Sings The Brews
Last Exit to Brooklyn

Last Of The Brohicans
Last of the DB cans
Last of the Horigans
Last of the Mollyhawks
Last of the Mullets

Last Kapa Haka in Paris
Last Rangitoto in Paris
Last Tango in Pahia
Last Tango in Panmure
Last Tango in Paremoremo
Last Tango In Tarras
Lawnmoa Man

Bruno Lawrence of Arabia
Lawrence Arabia of Arabia
Lawrence of Aramoana
Lawrence of Arawhata
Lawrence of Arohata
Lawrence of Nearly in Central Otago

Leaving Ashvegas
Leaving Danne-Vegas
Leaving Rotovegas
Levin Roto Vegas

Lei-d and the tramp
Len Brown and the Chamber of Secrets
Len Brownifornication
Letters from Paremoremo
Levin Let Die
Licence To Overkill a Hashtag
License to Drive Mum’s Corolla

Life of Brian Gaynor
Life of Brian (Tamaki)
Life of Blow on the Pie
Life of Georgie Pie
Life of Mince Pi
Life of Paeroa
Life Of Pai
Life of Pie

Like Mike Pero
Like Water for Chocolate Fish
Live and Eat Kai
Little Tinny House on the Prairie
Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Bongs
Lock Stock & Two Smoking Ratahs
Lock, Stock and Two Smoked Snapper
Long Walk to Freedom Furniture
Long Walk to Freemans Bay
Look Who’s Auckland?

Lord Of The Benny’s
Lord of the Burger Rings
Lord of the fings
Lord of the Kingis
Lord of the Ringatu
Lord Of The Rings: The desolation of W.I.N.Z
Lorde of the Rings
Lorde of the Sings

Lost In South Auckland
Love Akshully
Lovely puha & pork bones

Magic Maori’s
Magnificent Sevens Team
Maid in Manurewa
Man of Stealing
Man on a N0. 8 Wire
Manawatu Gorge Of The Jungle
Marc Ellis in Wonderland
Marmitey Joe Young
Married to the Mongrel Mob
Maoriboy: The All Black Army
Maoried to the Mob
Massey Rd Hooligans
Masterton and (going) Command
Masterton of the Universe
McCaw And Mrs Miller
Mean Pies

Men in All Blacks
Men in Black Power
Men in Black Singlets
Mere Poppins
Meri Kirihimete Mr Lawrence
Midnight in Paraparumu
Midnight in Taihape
Mission Impossible – Ghost Chip Protocol
Mr Craig Goes To Wellington
Moana’s Eleven
Monsters Bolos
Monty Betham and the Holy Grail
Mortal Maoris
Mr & Mrs Hohepa
Mr Smith goes to Whangamomona
Mr Smith Goes to Washdyke
Mrs. DoubtWhaea
Mt Eden Candidate
Much Ado About Farming
Munters crossing
Munters Inc
Mushion Impussible

Must Love Sheep
My Big Fat Freddy’s Drop Greek Wedding
My Big Fat Kahungunu Wedding
My Big Fat Maori Wedding
My Left Thirty Centimeters
My Life as Dog

National Lagoon
Need for Weed
Never Ending Hori
New Plymouth, New Plymouth
New Zoolander
Night of the Living Dead –> Hamilton: The Movie
Night Of The Levin Dead
Night of the Munter
Nightmare on Shortland Street
Nightmare on Vivian Street

No Country Calendar for Old Men
No Country for Old Diggers
No Country For Old Man’s Beard
No King Country for Old Men

North by North Westport
Not So Little Women
Now and Len

Oi Bro, Where You At Cuz?
On Golden Bay
On the 90 Mile Beach
Once Upon a Time in Tuhoe
Once Upon a Time in The West Coast

Once were Māoris – full stop
Once Were Mollyhawks
Once Were Rainbow Warriors
Once Were Sheep Worriers
Once were the Auckland Warriors
Once Were Warriors till we lost to the Eels in round 1
Once were Whanau

One Day of Summer
One for the Hangi
One Flew Over The Kākāpō’s Nest
One Flew Over the Kereru’s Nest
Otara, Where Art Thou?
Otorohanga where art thou?
Over qualified – Taxi Driver
Out of Ekatahuna

Pa Trek
Pa Wars
Paeroa Fiction
Pak ‘n Saving Private Ryan
Pania’s Labyrinth
Panmure’s Labyrinth
Para-Rubber Activity
Paranormal Rattah Activity
Paraparaumu Activity
Paua Shell House Down
Paula Queen of the Desserts
Pickup on South Street, Feilding
Picnic at Castle Rock
Picnic at Split Apple Rock

(Blow On The) Pie Hard
Pie Hard With Some T-Sauce (sequel)
Pig Dog Millionaire
Pikelets of the Caribbean
Pineapple Lump Express
Pirates of the Carribean: at Rainbows End
Pirates of the South Auckies
Pissed on a Hot Tin Roof
Place Beyond the Pohutukawas
Planet of the Horis
Planet of the Mokos
Poi Story
Poi Story 2
Police 10-7 Academy
Possum Like It Hot
Potato ‘n’ Gravity
Prince Of Porirua
P.S. I Love Youse

Psychohanga Reo
PsyKo (Lydia)
Pulp Foxton
Punch Drunk Love – a Queen Street Story
Puss in Gumboots
Puss in Ugg Boots

Queen Street: Money Never Sleeps

Raging Bulls
Raging Bridges
Raiders of the Last Pub
Raiders of the Lost Whakairo
Ratas Of The Caribbean
Reefton Madness
Regarding Graham Henry
Remember The Hori’s
Rena… (a certain boat disaster film from 1997 comes to mind)
Reservoir Kurī
Reservoir Sheep Dogs
Restless in Rotorua
Return (ticket) to Oz
Ridges over the River WHY?
Roast Busters!
Rocky Road
Rosemary McLeod’s Baby

Salem’s Lotto
Saving Mr Banks
Saving Mr John Banks
Saving Private Apiata
Saving Private Rangi
Schindler’s Lifts
Secret Life of Beehive
Seven Years in Te Puke
Sex and the Supercity
Shadbolt’s List

Shane Jones and the Last Crusade
Shane Jones’ Diary
Shane Jones and the Temple of Poon
Shanediana Jones and the Supermarket of Doom

Shark boy and rata girl
She’s a cold one
Sheepy Hollow
Sherlock Homies
Shipley’s List
Shut up Ewes (Silence of the Lambs)

Silver Fern Linings Playbook
Singin’ in Te Ranga
Skycity Royale
Sleepless In Seddon
Sleepless in Southland
Slumdog Mullionaire
Smash Pipis
Smashed ‘em Bro Palace
Snake Lollies On Plane
Sold in 60 Seconds :Auckland Property
Some like it Hot Chips
Some Like It Hot. Then Cold. Then Hot. Now It’s Raining.
Some Like It Hotere
Some Like It Hutt
Some Like It Sweet As
Sometimes A Great Nation

Sophie’s Choice As
Sophie’s Choice Bro
Sophie is Choice

Soylent Green Party
South by Southwest
Startrek into Dannevirke
Star Trekka – The Search for Shipley
Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Muss
Star Wars – Marc Ellis and Rydgey have a scrap
Starship Hospital Troopers
State House Party 1, 2 and 3
Stop Lights and Two Window Washers
Stop Or My Mom Will Call Leighton Smith
Stranger by the Western Springs Lake
Sweet Home Akarana
Sweet Home Ekatahuna

Takapuna Mockingbird
Tame E.T.
Tango & Pash
Taranaki Chainsaw Massacre
Taupo Chainsaw Massacre
Tauranga Vice
Tawa! Tawa! Tawa!
Te Aunty’s Falcon
Te Minata
Tea With Muldoon

The (Pita) Sharples Redemption
The 40 year old over stayer
The 40 Year Old Rattah
The adventures of tinnietinnie
The Aotearoa Connection
The Ballad of Cable Street
The Ballad Of Reading Recovery
The Beached As
The Best Little Warehouse Where Everyone Gets A Bargain In Texas
The Big Chill-y Bin
The Big Kumara
The Big Sheep
The Bill English Patient
The Black Power Of One
The Blue Codfather
The Blues Bros
The Bouncy Castle
The Bourne Laho
The Bridges of Mangere County
The Canterbury Finance Tales
The Cheeky Darky Knight Rises
The Chronicles Of Naenae
The Churt Locker
The Circle of Lyfe
The Chills Are Alive! : The Dunedin Sound of Music
The Cub of Cuba Street
The Day of the Tackle
The Day of the Jandal
The Deadbeat Father

The Devil Wears Icebreaker
The Devil Wears Para Rubber
The Devil Wears Postie Plus

The Dargaville Horror
The Eh Team
The Exorskux
The Fault in the Canterbury
The Fellaship of the Ring
The Feilding Kills
The Fifth Coalition Partner
The Fob Wears Prada
The Fobbit
The Fobfather
The Foreshore-shank Redemption
The Fore-shawshank and Seabed Redemption

The Girl with the Lion Red Tattoo
The Girl with the Maori Tattoo
The Girl with the Sagging Tattoo
The Girl with the Taniwha Moko

The Gisborne Identity
The Gisborne Ultimatum
The Godfather –> Dad’s Friend Darryl
The Godzone Father
The Good, the Bad and the Drunk
The Good As, The Bad As And The Ugly As
The Gore Chainsaw Massacre
The Grapes of Waipukurau
The Grass Mile
The Guns Of Petone
The Hangiover
The Hatrix

The Child Hunger Games
The Hangi Games
The Hongi Games
The Onehunga Games
The Hunger Games : katchafire
The Hungus Games
The Huntly Games

The Holden
The Hori In The Cupboard
The Importance of Being E(a)rnest Rutherford
The ‘It’s in the bag’ Man
The Island of Dr (Gareth) Morgan
The Island of Dr Moa-reau
The John Banks Job
The Johnsonville Horror
The Judith Collins Redemption
The Judith Whisperer

The Kingi and I
The King Country And I
The Maori King and I
The Kingi’s Speech
The Labrador-Collie Cross of Main Street
The Lambshank Redemption
The Lange Goodbye
The Last Days of Briscoes
The Last of the Morioris
The Last Powhiri
The Legend Of Johnny Hori
The Lion Brown King
The Lion Red King
The Lives of Udders
The Lost Kaiway
The Long White Cloud Atlas
The Lovely Pork Bones
The Lyttleton Mermaid

The Madness of King Kapisi
The Male Rider
The Man in the Corrugated Iron Mask
The Man with the Golden Bay Gun
The Mastertonian Candidate
The Mate-Tricks
The Mayor Who Shagged Me

The Men who Stare at Goat Island
The Men who Stare at Sheep

The Milford Sound of Music
The Milford Wives
The Milkman Always Rings Twice (Judith Collins sizzles…)
The Māori Boys
The Monteiths Falcon

The Naked [Taser] Gun
The Native Bush Book
The Never Ending Buildups
The Nightmare Before Christmas in the Park
The North Shoreshank Redemption
The Novopay Cod
The (Number 8) Wire
The One Tree Hills Have Eyes
The Other Side Of South Auckland
The Orana Express
The Orewa Files
The Outlaw Josie Pagani

The P-Labyrinth
The Parakuihi Club
The Paremoremo Redemption
The Pash of The Spider Woman
The Pashing of the Christ
The Passion of Hinemoa
The Passion of the Christchurch
The Patrick Gower Games
The Paua of One

The Pavlova
The Picture of Dorian Greymouth
The Pig Hunter
The Possum of Ponsonby Road
The Ponsonby Hilyuppies
The Power of H-one
The Price of Mulk
The Prince Of Otara
The Prosty and the Beast
The Pūkeko Brief
The Ricki Herbert Horror Show
The Ridges of Madison County
The Rock FM
The Rock of Punakaiki
The Rocky Hori Picture Show
The Rocky Horowhenua Picture Show
The Rocky Road Picture Show

The Secret Life of Wainuiomata
The Secret Life Of Walter Little
The Shannonball Run
The Sheep Of Wall Street
The Sheeping News
The Sheila
The Shoreboy Redemption
The Shornshear Redemption
The Silence of the Lamb Chops
The Silence of the Mutton
The Skeleton Kiwi
The Skytower Inferno
The Slow and the Apathetic

The Dunedin Sound of Music
The Sound of Waiata
The Sound of Milford

The Spy Who Loved Checking My Emails to My Mother
The Sweet As, the Stink As and the Ugly
The Sweetest Thingee

The Talented Mr. Whippy
The Talented Mrs Shipley
The Tamihere of the Shrew
The Tegal Has Landed
The Thomas Crown Lynn Affair
The Tuaminator
The Three Kings Speech
The Tuhoe Empire Strikes Back

The Unbearable Lightness of Beersies
The (Waikato Uni) Graduate
The Warehouse of Horrors
The Waterfront Strikes Back
The White-tail Spider who Loved Me
The White Butterfly Effect

The Weka of Wall Street
The Wolf of High St
The Wolf of Shortland Street
The Wolf of South Auckland
The Wolf West of Wall St, Henderson
The Wolf of Willis St

The Worlds fastest Fijian-Indian
The World’s Fastest Maori

There’s Something About Dairy
There’s Something About Gerry Brownlee
There’s Something About Maori
There’s Something About Mary Wilson
There’s Something About Mele
There’s Something About Merivale
There’s Something About Richie

They Shoot Kaimanawa Horses, Don’t They?
This Is Hamilton
Three Blokes and a Baby
Three Kings Island
Throi hundrid
Throw Marmite From The Train
Tim Shadbolt: Redemption
Timaru Hustle
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Pie
Tinker Tailor SAS Soldier GCSB

To Have and Havelock
To Kill A Muttonbird
To Kill a Takahe
To Putaruru, Thanks For Everything
To Sir Peter Leitch With Love
Toitoi Story
Tomb Meke Raider
Totara Recall
Train Spotting Knives
Training Hori’s
Transformers Maori in Disguise
True Bromance
Tron.  Is that enough?
Tropic Tauranga

U for Utu

Valerie Adams Family
Vegemite Club
Vicki Cristina Balclutha

Wairau Valley of the Dolls
Waka Rider
Walk The Main Trunk Line
War of the Roses Chocolates
War of the Wakas
Warm Patrick Gower
Wayne Barnes’ World
We Have To Talk About Kevin Hague
We Have To Talk About Levin
We Need to Talk About Colin
We’re Eagles, Dear
Weak Hearts And Coronet Peak
Weary in Waikikamukau
Weekend at Banksie’s
Weekend at Bernie Fraser’s
West Coast Story
Westie Side Story
Westfield of Dreams
We’ll Never Be Royal Tennebaums
Whare rider willypele
What Becomes Of The Hori Hearted?
What Happens in Rotovegas

When Harry Met Sally Ridge
When Harry met the Sallies
When Harry Warner Met Sally
When Hemi met Sharon
When Herewini Met Sala

Where Eagles Vs Shark In The Park Fear To Tread
Whit-cools Running
White-tail Spider Man
Who Dares, WINZ
Who Framed Roger Douglas?
Who Framed Rogernomics?
Who’s Afraid of Virgin Wool?
Willie Apiata and the Chocolate Factory
Winnie the Puha
Winston Checks In

Why did I get Maoried too
Wild Wild West Coast
Wild Wild Westport
Wild Wild Westies
Winter’s Bone Carving
Wiremu Waka & The Tinnie Factory
Witches of Eastbourne
Withering Heights (starring John Key and Judith Collins)

Wizard of Cathedral Square
Wizard of Nz
Wizard of the tiny country next to Oz
Working 9 Til Midnight
World War Zed
Wrath of Colin Craig
Wreck-it Rangi
Wreck-it Roger
Wuthering Speights

Yeah Nah Man
Year of Levin Dangerously
You Haven’t Got Mail
You’ve Got Nelson Mail
You Me and Hemi
You Only Live Twizel
Youse only live twice


Thanks to all the contributors – look them up on Twitter: #NewZealandifiedMovieTitles


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