Fekitoa’s anger

It’s a big thing for Malakai Fekitoa to publicly admit he has problems with anger. Good on him.

NZ Herald: All Black Malakai Fekitoa admits anger issues

The 23-year-old shared a message with his 173,000 followers earlier today, admitting he has struggled with anger “on and off the field”.

Fekitoa provided no particular reason for the post but encouraged those who suffered from similar problems to seek help.

“I’ve got a huge problem with anger”.

“I don’t handle some situation very well on and off the field. I get really angry sometimes and flip out so I would like to apologise publicly to any of you if I ever said something really hurtful to you at home, on the field and through social media.

“I’m ashamed and regretful, Lesson learnt. I suggest that no matter how old you are or who you are. Whatever it is. You need to speak to someone about it. Your feelings and what’s inside you. Its never bad until it will cost you. #CallOutForHelp.”

FekitoaAnger

That photo is taken at the Signal Hill Lookout with views over Dunedin and Otago Harbour.

It’s a big thing for Fekitoa to come out in public about his anger problems like this. Good on him.

Leave a comment

56 Comments

  1. kiwi guy

     /  11th February 2016

    Why is it a big deal?

    Another media celebrity type baring all on social media, if its not their flesh its their psyche.

    Reply
    • Mefrostate

       /  11th February 2016

      It’s a big deal because he’s acting as a role model for people who struggle with similar issues and who may need encouragement to ask for help. It has the same value as what John Kirwan has done.

      Reply
    • kittycatkin

       /  11th February 2016

      KG is mean-spirited as usual….

      Reply
  2. Oliver

     /  11th February 2016

    In all fairness anger isn’t managed very well in New Zealand. This is a problem with men and women. Speaking up and getting people to seek help is a great idea. Well done.

    Reply
    • kittycatkin

       /  11th February 2016

      That’s a sweeping generalisation. Some do, some don’t-human nature is the same everywhere. You can’t say that it’s not handled well across the board.Some people handle it well, some handle it badly worldwide.

      Reply
  3. Grumpy

     /  11th February 2016

    Ok, so the guy earns mega bucks and has a great future in front of him. Instead of rabbiting on about “anger” why not investigate why, how and what that actually is? “Anger” is just an excuse for anti social behavior these days, commonly attributed to certain socio economic and ethnic groups.

    Reply
    • Oliver

       /  11th February 2016

      “Anger” is just an excuse for anti social behavior these days, commonly attributed to certain socio economic and ethnic groups.”

      I agree grumpy. Middle class white people are the most likely to lash out in anger. We need to bring more awareness to this issue.

      Reply
      • kiwi guy

         /  11th February 2016

        Have you got the statistics for that?…No, I didn’t think so.

        Because it seems Vibrants have WAY more issues with violence especially when it comes to bashing their partners and kids.

        Of course this destroys Oliver’s cultural Marxist narrative about Evil Whitey the Oppressor of Vibrants. So Oliver will wriggle and squirm to maintain the fiction.

        Reply
        • Oliver

           /  11th February 2016

          I could sense a lot of hostility in your comment kiwi guy. Perhaps you should seek professional help to deal with your anger problems. Good luck to you.

          Reply
          • kiwi guy

             /  11th February 2016

            Perhaps you should seek professional help to deal with reality?

            Anytime you actually again the ability to back up your “Progressive” arguments with evidence feel free to demonstrate it, otherwise you should just stay in the Marxist echo chamber The Standard with the rest of your comrades.

            Reply
            • Oliver

               /  11th February 2016

              Aramoana springs to mind of an example of when white people lashing out.

            • grumpy

               /  11th February 2016

              “Every weekend” springs to mind of an example of when brown people lash out…………see how stupid your comment was?

            • Oliver

               /  11th February 2016

              Your comparing a mass killing with a bit of argy barry.

            • grumpy

               /  11th February 2016

              You really want to talk about mass killings and race….?

            • @ grumpy – “Let’s talk about race baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be … Let’s talk about race”

              Oliver, where are you? grumpy wants to rub our socialist noses in it with facts and figures about race-based slaughter which somehow supports his “brown people” argument????

              Go for it grumpy … bring it …?

              Do, please, make your point?

              http://listverse.com/2013/01/03/10-deadliest-world-events-in-human-history/

            • kiwi guy

               /  11th February 2016

              LOL, how many decades ago was that, and that character was a schizophrenic.

            • kittycatkin

               /  11th February 2016

              That was one white person, not white people generally. But although NZ hasn’t had many mass killings, they are almost all white men. This doesn’t mean that because the killings were done by white men, white men are killers, only that those ones were.

            • kittycatkin

               /  11th February 2016

              There was Stanley Graham; the ones in Aramoana, Raurimu, Te Kauwhata, the Bains in Dunedin and one in somewhere like Featherston*-only the last one was done by a non-white.

              * I forget where exactly, but I think it was there or in that area

        • Alan Wilkinson

           /  11th February 2016

          C’mon, you know Oliver has no interest in facts. He didn’t stay as ignorant as this by accident. Give him back his John Key doll and box of pins.

          Reply
    • Timoti

       /  11th February 2016

      Its all about this mana bs. Mess with my mana bro, and I will kill you. Child abuse, granny bashing and simple neglect don’t get a look in…its all about mana- and protecting it.

      Reply
      • Oliver

         /  11th February 2016

        Mana not so much. I think you mean ego. People get angry because they’re insecure, if someone disrespects them they perceive it as an attack, so they lash out in anger to save face. The best way to fix anger is to work on the self esteem so that they feel secure about themselves and don’t care about what other people say or do.

        Reply
        • kiwi guy

           /  11th February 2016

          You forgot to mention IQ, for obvious reasons…

          Reply
        • Timoti

           /  11th February 2016

          You are right. But mana entails more. Disrespect a Maori, you disrespect his whanau, hapu and Iwi, or his gang. Even if in reality the former care little if he is personally disrespected, there is still an unwritten expectation that things should be” set right”.

          For example my ancestor slaughtered many from Te Whānau-ā-Apanui for a slight that happened two generations before he was born. The irony – he was a peace loving man and wasn’t interested in squabbles. But even he felt obliged to settle a score.
          That type of barbarianism is dying…but its not quite dead yet.

          Reply
          • Oliver

             /  11th February 2016

            Mana is spiritual power. From what you describe you definitely mean ego and it’s not a “Maori thing”. There are similar examples of what you describe in all cultures.

            Reply
            • grumpy

               /  11th February 2016

              Even so, the statistics would show certain etnic groups being over respresented in the expression of “anger”.

            • Oliver

               /  11th February 2016

              Shows us those statistics.

            • grumpy

               /  11th February 2016

              FFS, rates of imprisonment for a start – part of the “inequality” you lefties rave about. Google is your friend.

            • kiwi guy

               /  11th February 2016

              Seriously you need to ask?

              Go google nz crime stats and ethnicity.

              Add to that most violence among Vibrants goes unreported because it is just a cultural norm for them – all part of the amazing vibrancy.

            • Oliver

               /  11th February 2016

              Calm down grumpy no need to get angry. I just wanted you to back up your claims on statistics with evidence.

            • kiwi guy

               /  11th February 2016

              Stop playing games the stats are only a google search away – and its the same everywhere eg negroes in the USA massively over represented in the crime stats.

            • Oliver

               /  11th February 2016

              They are also over represented in the low income bracket. Anyway you’ve gone off subject we are talking about anger not crime.

  4. Hmmm. It is a problem for sure. But I wonder why he has done this out of the blue. Seems odd. News Story to follow maybe? I hope not. He seems an ok guy and is a shoe in to be M Nonus’ replacement in the AB test side

    Best advice I ever got was as follows:

    Own your feelings – the old saying of not being able to control others but you can control your reaction is very true. And it needs practicing.
    Walk away, breathe and don’t return to a problematic situation until you are under control
    End relationships with people who antagonise you when they do it deliberately and repeatedly. Life is too short to waste on others who are just a pain in the arse
    Consider the other persons position – its not always about you

    Reply
  5. Mike C

     /  11th February 2016

    It has been rumored Fekitoa was about to get publicly outed for something he has done wrong … and that he wrote that on FakeBook to try and lessen the impact on himself when the shit hits the fan.

    Reply
    • grumpy

       /  11th February 2016

      That would make sense. What is it with these guys? What is this “anger”? Where does it come from? how does it manifest itself?
      Is it just what others would call a “violent nature”? Lack of self control?

      Reply
      • Questions to be asked of ‘road rage’ too – What is it with these guys? What is this “anger”?

        Reply
        • grumpy

           /  11th February 2016

          Good comment. This needs more of an in depth investigation. How many times do you see an accused claim “anger issues”?

          Reply
      • @ Grumpy, duperez – “What is it with these guys?”

        Well, where professional rugby is concerned, it might have something to do with A) Professional – pressure, performance anxiety, pay etc – and B) Rugby? You know that game where guys (mostly) run around a field bashing shit out of each other and (at top level) use any dirty tactic they can slide past the referee. “The gentleman’s game played by thugs”.

        Add to that they grow up in a society where fearsome competition is promoted no end as opposed to gentler cooperation. Where violence is obscenely demonstrated and promoted in so-called “entertainment” like movies and video games. Where cultural, ethnic and income status may simply add to the competitive pressure …

        Some “nature” and a whole bunch of “nurture”.

        Reply
    • The question of what precipitated Fekitoa’s admission occurred to me. I concluded something must have happened to make him come out as he has, in this way, at this time. I know nothing of rumours.

      Reply
  6. Brown

     /  11th February 2016

    I think you should deal with your acknowledged faults in private. If he’s doing this to lessen consequences for something stupid he’s just another disingenuous prick seeing how many suckers there are out there who will buy into weeping without repentance. Being an AB will see him get off anyway.

    Reply
    • kiwi guy

       /  11th February 2016

      You mean being a Vibrant will get him a pass by the Progressive mob who need a white skinned scapegoat for their Marxist narrative.

      Reply
      • Mefrostate

         /  11th February 2016

        Coming from someone who constantly (and I really do mean all day every day) scapegoats dark skinned (or feminist) individuals for your Regressive, bigoted, xenophobic and misogynist narrative.

        Reply
    • Get off of what. Haven’t seen any indication of anything yet. ‘What did he do. I don’t know but he’s guilty and will get off.’

      Reply
  7. Maureen W

     /  11th February 2016

    Sook should do something about it rather than bleating to the media. Looks like a cover-up for failing to deal with his own issues.

    Reply
  8. Nelly Smickers

     /  11th February 2016

    A business associate of my husband, who settled here from Alabama a few years back to head up a farm machinery company, says that “knowing how most Americans feel today, if Abe Lincoln was running for President, he wouldn’t stand a shit show against Donald Trump’s policies’.

    Reply
    • That’s good to know Nelly. Abolition wouldn’t stand a chance? That’s just great!

      Let’s head on back to them’ fine ole’ days of Dixie when a damn nigra knew their place. Them magical days before female suffrage, feminey-ism and danged civil rights!

      Tell you what, you’ll never get anything remotely approaching a Gettysburg address out of Donald Trump –

      ” … to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth”.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gettysburg_Address

      Reply
      • Nelly Smickers

         /  11th February 2016

        And I wouldn’t be so sure about that Gettysburg stuff PartiZ !

        My huzband just pointed out he heard The Donald give this amazing address about that Megyn Kelly….

        Reply
        • @ Nelly – don’t have enough data to watch it but I think I recall the speech. 🙂

          Its the “four words long” one, right? :-/

          A couple of words longer than most of Trumpy’s pronouncements.

          Reply
    • Oliver

       /  11th February 2016

      Let me guess Nelly your American friend is a gun fanatic aswell.

      Reply
      • Nelly Smickers

         /  11th February 2016

        Funnily enough Ollie, you are spot on 🙂

        It was actually Caleb who got us both interested in pistol shooting. He has one of the largest collections of early Colt Revolvers in the country.

        Reply
      • kiwi guy

         /  11th February 2016

        Well we know from other posts by your comrades that you Progressives want the population doped up and disarmed, that way they are not going to be able to put up a fight against that big Cultural Marxist dildo you got prepped for them.

        Reply
        • The Colt ‘Peacemaker’. There’s a contradiction in terms.

          Those inclusive CM Feminist hugs and kisses gonna be real painful Kiwi Guy. You’ll be disarmed with kindness and Loooove, especially if you look anything like that “thoroughbred” picture of yourself you posted yesterday? You dark horse you!

          How’s the collapse of capitalism going …?

          Reply
        • Oliver

           /  11th February 2016

          kiwi guy wants his gun so that no one will take his ice cream.

          Reply
        • Rob

           /  11th February 2016

          “…. that big Cultural Marxist dildo you got prepped for them.” Yeah, and here’s hoping your’re first on it. Better get yourself a bottle of lube son, better get yourself a big one.

          Reply
  9. kittycatkin

     /  11th February 2016

    I hope that KG noticed on tonight’s news that the rapist and would-be murderer of two young women tourists in Australia appears to be a white Australian whereas the two young men who rescued the girls were obviously Muslims (with Aussie accents, but they were of Middle Eastern ethnicity)

    Reply

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