Satire from within can be the cruellest

I don’t know if Scott York is still active in the Labour party or not but his illusionment appears to have a big DIS in front of it.

(Notre that Scott is the person who first wrote about the beige Badger).

He has written A brief history of the Labour Party at Imperator Fish.

October 2008

When the voters learn what we know about John Key – or what we will soon know once Mike Williams returns from Melbourne – they will be appalled. We now know what the H in H-Fee stands for. It’s “Hasta la vista, baby!”

July 2009

The honeymoon is finally over. John Key is an empty vessel, a man without any convictions, a rich prick who will say anything to be elected. We are in the midst of a global financial crisis, but let’s focus on issues of character and integrity, and not allow ourselves to be distracted by all that other stuff.

August 2011

The honeymoon is finally over. There is a mood of change in the air. The public are falling out of love with John Key. Everywhere I go people tell me they think John Key is an untrustworthy unprincipled swine. His lies are finally coming back to haunt him. This could be the turning point!

January 2013

The honeymoon is finally, finally over. People are finally seeing John Key for what he is – an entitled member of the 1%. We need to double down on our strategy of relentlessly attacking the Prime Minister at every opportunity. If we absolutely must mention jobs, the economy or housing, let’s do so in a way that frames John Key as being uncaring and in the pay of big business. We can’t afford for our ideas to stand on their own merits.

September 2014

These dirty politics allegations are shocking, and they reveal to all the world the true nature of John Key and his nasty attack machine. This will be hugely damaging to Key’s reputation. Ordinary New Zealanders will be disgusted at this behaviour. It’s time to ramp up our attacks on Key and his associations with the Dirty Politics crew. I sincerely believe that this scandal will be completely game-changing. This election is anyone’s to win! Oh, and I suppose we could throw in the odd mention about how stuffed our economy is, if there’s enough time.

April 2015

These ponytail-pulling allegations are dynamite. They speak volumes about the character of the man in charge of our country. John Key has lost it. There’s no coming back from this. He’s completely lost the female vote. Watch as his support slowly ebbs away. Target all fire on the PM!

May 2016

This Panama Papers business is alarming, but it’s also the opportunity we’ve all been waiting for. John Key is super wealthy, and we don’t like him, so it stands to reason that he must be up to his neck in all of this. Quick, type his name into the database! Nothing? No, there must be some mistake. Try again. Again, damn you! Well, not to worry. He must use a different Panamanian law firm. He’s still a smug rich prick, and that’s what counts. That’s the message we need to ensure the voters take out of this.

He also looks into the future:

September 2021

The economy is in a downwards spiral, the world dairy market has collapsed, and global warming and a series of natural disasters have devastated the country. But politically I feel as if we have turned a corner. People are finally focusing on how out of touch John Key is. We just need to drive the message home. Dig up everything you can on the guy. Do we know anyone who knew him at school? Did he steal anyone’s lunch money? Did he ever get a detention? Could there be some connection between John Key and Bernie Madoff that we haven’t yet uncovered? Let’s leave no stone unturned this time, guys. Let’s give our leader some powerful ammunition. She needs something to throw at Key during Question Time today.

April 2027

Our new leader really got some blows in during Question Time today. I’ve not seen any of our 23 leaders since Helen Clark land so many punches. He had Key floundering when he asked about Key’s association with the guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who got done for tax evasion back in the 1980s. I reckon we might just have picked up a few votes today from all the people who follow Parliamentary proceedings, or at least the three of them who aren’t fiercely partisan in their party loyalties.

June 2042

We’ve got Key on the ropes this time. He really is demonstrating to the public how out of touch he is, and who he is really working for. The public won’t stand for this. The honeymoon is finally over!

February 2044

If Prime Minister Key has a weak spot, it’s his lack of integrity and his fundamental dishonesty. That’s where we need to focus our attentions.

His father John was just the same.

Don’t Labour need a new chief press secretary? Someone with Scott’s communication skills and sense of realism could do very well for them.

Satire from within can be the cruellest – and the most accurate.

If you have read all this here (it would have lost it’s impact edited down) please click on this link to register a hit for Scott to reward him for his work.

A brief history of the Labour Party

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25 Comments

  1. Gezza

     /  16th May 2016

    Left him a comment as well.

    Reply
    • Alan Wilkinson

       /  16th May 2016

      Me too.

      Reply
      • Gezza

         /  16th May 2016

        Looks like he might do quite well for comments with this one getting the free publicity via other blogs. Comments are usually thin on the ground there although I really enjoy the often very sharp analysis behind his wit.

        Reply
  2. I had to give myself a wee lesson on how to spell ‘cruellest’ and have settled on the correct British version.

    Reply
  3. A cutting piece of satire. I loved his Veitch apology too..

    https://imperatorfish.com/2016/05/08/im-so-very-very-sorry/

    Reply
  4. Yorke is an Intellectual Property lawyer. He would be underselling himself even thinking about becoming a Labour presser.

    Reply
  5. Nelly Smickers

     /  16th May 2016

    That is such a fab *piss-take*! And absolutely loved the meme of Veitchy as well XD

    Although as Wayne said the other nite, “The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected, is that they would hate to try to make a living under the laws they’ve passed”

    Reply
  6. Iceberg

     /  16th May 2016

    Where is the Satire? He’s accurate about the situation to date and given current data his predictions are hard to argue with.

    Reply
  7. Hall

     /  16th May 2016

    November 2017 Andrew Little leads Labour to a comfortable victory in the general election. PM Little fixes housing crisis and reduces inequality gap while improving GDP by 15 percent. John Key gets a job at Mc Donalds.

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  16th May 2016

      Now you’re talking.

      This is the sort of bold, positive communications strategy Labour needs !

      Wait ! … no … no … this is what they’ve have nowo_O

      Reply
      • Kitty Catkin

         /  16th May 2016

        I thought that Halliver was a National supporter.

        Maybe they are being funny/

        John Key will never work in MacDonalds; dream on.

        Reply
        • Gezza

           /  16th May 2016

          Might’ve just been having a 5 minute break during training there I suppose…

          Reply
          • Hall

             /  16th May 2016

            look at him plug his own pie hole. It looks kosher.

            Reply
            • Gezza

               /  16th May 2016

              The Hallmask is slipping further …

            • Hall

               /  16th May 2016

              I’m continuing the satire theme except for the Andrew Little part which is my prediction for next year.

            • Alan Wilkinson

               /  16th May 2016

              I thought all your comments were satire, Hall. To quote the great John McEnroe: “You can’t be serious!!??”

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