National Poetry Day

Some timed
some rhymed
some not
so what

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34 Comments

  1. Gezza

     /  26th August 2016

    So Poet’s day has come at last
    But when it does, I can’t be arsed
    What is the point to write in prose
    When what that is nobody knows

    I tried it once, but cos it rhymed
    Ms FrillyKnickers, here opined
    I’d got it wrong, that was not prose
    Of course that got, right up my nose

    So I retorted, something strong
    Cos I am hardly, ever wrong
    But in this case, it seems I wuz
    So I wrote back, I luvs ya, cuz

    Reply
    • Kitty Catkin

       /  26th August 2016

      I had a little pookie
      And Pookie was her name,
      And I called her ‘My Pukeko’,
      And she answered just the same ,
      And she lived down in by the gully
      And I saw her every day….
      But a male pook had his eye on her,
      He had his wicked eye on her,
      His hey-come-hither eye on her,
      And Pookie ran away,

      I went down to the gully,
      And I hunted far and near,
      And I made the kind of noises
      That a pookie likes to hear.
      But there was nothing doing-
      That wicked pookie boy
      Had lured away my Pookie girl,
      He lured away my Pookie girl
      With promises of joy.

      I looked out of my window
      And oh ! what did I see ?
      My darling little Pookie
      With pooklings-one, two, three !
      She’d brought the little fluffballs
      To see her doting dad-
      She’d brought her little family back-
      Yes, there they were, all sweet and black-
      She’d brought them safely in a pack-
      With joy I went quite mad.

      And now the little pooklings
      Are playing by the stream,
      That time of loss and sorrow
      Has vanished like a dream,
      For I am now a grandpa,
      My mokos and their mum
      And dad are living here with me.
      Yes, they’re all living here with me,
      My chicks so near and dear to me
      With joy I’ve been struck dumb.

      With insincere apologies to AA Milne.

      Reply
  2. pickled possum

     /  26th August 2016

    There was movement at the BeeHive, for the word had passed around
    That the Bill from old Mike Sabin had got away,
    And had joined the other bull shit bills – it was worth a pffffttttt,
    So all the crack heads had gathered to the debating chamber.
    All the tried and noted troughers from the towns near and far
    Had mustered at the Beehive overnight,
    For the country-men love hard debating where the lefties are,
    And Mikey snuffs the battle with delight.

    is this what you mean Pete, National … poetry day?

    Reply
    • Kitty Catkin

       /  26th August 2016

      National it may be,
      A poem it’s not.
      For rhyme, rythm, scansion
      Are what it ain’t got.

      Rhyme isn’t needed,
      But scansion, sense are
      Required for a poem
      Not to be just a lot of short lines.

      Reply
      • Alan Wilkinson

         /  26th August 2016

        A poem should sing
        Like our tui in spring
        But Possum’s composure
        Galumphs wildly to closure.

        Reply
        • Kitty Catkin

           /  26th August 2016

          Sometimes composition
          Is more decomposition.

          Reply
          • Alan Wilkinson

             /  26th August 2016

            Such an impost
            Produces compost.

            Reply
            • pickled possum

               /  27th August 2016

              awwwww low blow Al,
              Is that organic compost?
              Don’t you recognize Bango’s most famous?
              all squished around to suit my words
              or is it Mike Sabin, “Our Only Mistake”
              Well … Righties mistake, I mean.
              Otherwise you and M#CK get top marks for your little ditties. 😉

  3. Blazer

     /  26th August 2016

    ‘the moon shone on the village green….it shone on little Nell….was she fetching water ..or was she……

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  26th August 2016

      … smelling Blaise’s smell?

      Reply
      • Kitty Catkin

         /  26th August 2016

        not too well ?

        Too many syllables, Gezza.

        Reply
        • Kitty Catkin

           /  26th August 2016

          passing well ?

          (using a slightly archaic usage, forsooth. But it scans and makes sense 😀 )

          Reply
          • Gezza

             /  26th August 2016

            It’s dreadful Kitty. I have to tell or you won’t realise it.
            Mine’s much better. Soz.

            Reply
    • Alan Wilkinson

       /  26th August 2016

      … growing shorter?

      I win Gezza.

      Reply
      • Gezza

         /  26th August 2016

        Fair enough. But I eat a lot. I play loud music. I invite ducks & pukekos into the back yard. I’m not the tidiest housekeeper. I accept that you’ve won me, but I’m not much of a prize Al.

        Reply
        • Alan Wilkinson

           /  26th August 2016

          I’ll have to buy one of your commas instead, Gezza.

          Reply
          • Gezza

             /  26th August 2016

            I knew you’d realise that only a comma could save you. 😀

            Here Al, it’s on the house, plus a couple of spares … , , ,

            Reply
  4. Nelly Smickers

     /  26th August 2016

    Wayne was just saying the funnyist most recent one he remembers, was the one about Turkey President Erdogan, that *Boris Johnson* penned…..

    “There was a young fellow from Ankara,
    Who was a terrific wankerer,
    Till he sowed his wild oats,
    With the help of a goat,
    And he didn’t even stop to thankera”

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  26th August 2016

      She’s a hard road finding the perfect Foreign Minister Nelly. I mean, look at our Muzza McClutzy, or Hellary Clinton, and that dork John Kerry – FFS!

      Still. They can’t all be a Winnie The Peters I guess.

      Reply
      • Kitty Catkin

         /  26th August 2016

        How many times are we going to hear that one ? It’s old and tired by now.

        Wayne must be easily amused and have a poor memory if that’s the most recent one he can remember.

        Reply
  5. Kitty Catkin

     /  26th August 2016

    This was passed off as a limerick, but it’s a very bad one (apart from the grossness of the topic; animal sex abuse, or bestiality)

    Limericks have a specific rhyme and scansion scheme. This one fails both, If it wasn’t so witlessly filthy, it would be considered a poor effort from a schoolchild with a very poor ear for verse. The lines don’t scan, the rhymes are pathetically weak. 0/10 for that alone. The first two lines simply don’t work on any poetic level. It’s an embarrassingly bad attempt at such a well-known poetic form. If this feeble effort was the winner, I dread to think what the losers were like.

    Reply
    • Klik Bate

       /  26th August 2016

      You must remember though Kitty, the difference between say Boris Johnson and someone like yourself, is that Boris was born with a personality and an obvious sense of humor XD

      Reply
      • Kitty Catkin

         /  26th August 2016

        I do have a sense of humour, as my poem shows-but, like most people, I don’t find sex abuse of animals by humans amusing. Nor does the law, which classes it as animal cruelty and a serious crime. Boris Johnson’s obvious ‘sense of humour’ sees perverted animal sex abuse as amusing. Thank Heaven I am not someone who finds bestiality (or any form of animal abuse) funny. You may, and ‘Wayne’ does, but you are, I hope, in a minority. How do you react to child sex abuse ? Is that also funny, as it’s against those who are helpless and can’t prevent it ?

        He has a grasp of scansion would disgrace a primary school child. Try reading the first two lines aloud and see what they sound like.

        Everyone has a personality, that’s a meaningless term unless it’s qualified by the kind of personality that it is. It;s like saying that someone has a face or body. It tells one nothing. You’ll know Fred when you see him, he has a face.

        Reply
        • Gezza

           /  26th August 2016

          Some people have a face like a smacked bum Kitty. Try not to be one of them.

          Reply
          • patupaiarehe

             /  26th August 2016

            Reply
            • Gezza

               /  26th August 2016

              That’s not Grumpy Cat. I was expecting Grumpy Cat, patu 😀

            • patupaiarehe

               /  26th August 2016

              Plenty of better memes than grumpy cat G… 😀

            • patupaiarehe

               /  26th August 2016

              This is the one I was looking for earlier, when you said

              Some people have a face like a smacked bum Kitty. Try not to be one of them.

  6. A couple by Pam Ayers.

    Short one

    Little Lawrence Greenaway, he tended to digress
    He’d always tell you rather more than tell you rather less.
    Of wild exaggeration, he never seemed to tire
    The truth became irrelevant
    In short, he was a liar

    Sightly longer

    The Satnav

    I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car
    A Satnav is a driver’s friend it tells you where you are.
    I have a little Satnav, i’ve had it all my life
    It’s better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.
    It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
    “It’s sixty miles an hour”, it says, “You’re doing sixty five”.
    It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
    And tells me that it’s never ever, safe to overtake.
    It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green
    It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.
    It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear
    And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.
    I’m sure no other driver, has so helpful a device
    For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.
    It fills me up with counselling, each journey’s pretty fraught
    So why don’t I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?
    Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed
    It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
    Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,
    I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  26th August 2016

      I also still have one of those, it does its job with pride
      It bore my dear departed wife – the mother of the bride.

      Reply
  7. Zedd

     /  27th August 2016

    I did but see LIFE passing by
    …and I will love it til i die.. ho hum 😀

    Reply

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