Turning people into trees
Posted by Pete George on July 2, 2017
https://yournz.org/2017/07/02/turning-people-into-trees/
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Corky
/ July 2, 2017That’s what makes us humans, we aren’t trees. We judge, and where possible take remedial action against adversities nature dishes out to us( not always successfully). From such action we form civilisations that are reaching for the stars.
Meanwhile, a tree is just a tree. But it has the advantage of never being wrong.
Disclaimer: I don’t like Ram Dass. I put him in the same category with Sai Baba.
Brown
/ July 2, 2017Sounds a bit deluded Dumb Ass.
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Some say he blew his mind, along with Timmy Leary, on acid.
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017When you look at a tree you see all there is. When you look at a human you don’t. You have to guess a lot. Then you have to guess how much to believe for your own safety and well-being.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017My consultations are free, Sir Alan.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Matter of fact, Brown & Blazer often seem to make me want to pay for them. Very peculiar indeed,
🌸🌸
Pete Kane
/ July 2, 2017So if Sit Alan and Sir Gerald, were to be trees, what would they be?
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017I, Mr Kane, should be a mighty FiP tree. 👍 🌲
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017😡 FiP! * FiR tree.
Anonymous Coward
/ July 2, 2017Sir Al…?
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017The resemblance is certainly striking!
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017Except I never wear a tie, G.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Egad. An imposter, Sir Alan?
The fellow’s a cad. 😡
Pete Kane
/ July 2, 2017.”……I never wear a tie……”. Not even to a supporters meeting for your local (and much loved), MP?
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017Never been there, PK. The last time I was seen in a tie was about 1997 when the guys wanted to take a company photo and brought one along for me. In a moment of weakness I put it on for them.
Anonymous Coward
/ July 2, 2017That must be where this photo was taken then. Those sunglasses are very 1997 come to think of it.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017@ Naked Calendar shoot, Sir Alan, by any chance ? 😳
Do you still have the calendar?
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017It would be a collectors item but no, Sir Gerald, sadly there is no remaining record of the tragic event. It did grace a website for quite a long time but no longer. When I left the Uni many moons ago for the corporate world the grateful staff gave me a double ended spoon (for stirring the left and stirring the right) and a tie they were convinced I would finally need for my new environment. They were wrong.
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017I did have three ties once but they were in no danger of wearing out and I think they must have decomposed at the back of the wardrobe.
Conspiratoor
/ July 2, 2017Useless trivia but I understand the only thing that ties google, amazon and apple together is their ban on this much maligned accessory. Probably why I never got the call up
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017I spent most the last 30 years of my 33 with the Public Service nver wearing tie. Suits, yes, but no tie. The only time it was ever a problem was when I spent week in Christchurch in the mid 80s relieving-in-charge of a District Office section.
On the second Day the Asst District Superintendent called me in to his office & asked me to wear a tie because their Compliance Officers had revolted. They were refusing to wear times as per Office Policy in the hot Summer weather on duty & out in their vehicles because “that bloke from Head Office in charge here this week doesn’t have to”. I had none, so he loaned me two if his.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Sht! I bloody proof-read that! 😡
God I’m bloody useless as a proof-reader. It used to be something I was bloody good at!
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017It’s much easier to proof-read someone else’s draft than your own, because you know what yours meant to say and your brain feeds it back.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Yep, true. But I was also adept at proof-reading my own voluminous writings at work, not just those of the underlings. Mind you, I never did it lying on the sofa, one arm behind my head which is resting on a cushion, with a tiny iPad – with only third of the screen available to view becoz of the onscreen keyboard – & the device balanced & propped cleverly but distantly away down near my knees. That’s my story, & I’m sticking to it. I’m sitting up now with the iPad on the little round Occasional Table. I’ve done a quick proof-read. Here goes…
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017*only ONE third
🤔 Not bad. Still room for improvement. 😬
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017(PS: Sorry about the strong language a bit earlier. Just realised I haven’t had dinner. Am taking remedial action in that regard. )
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017PPS: Actually the above’s not strictly correct. I did end up wearing a tie in my last Winter with my Department. I put one on one morning as we had a formal occasion at work that day, one I thought it really deserved a tie. And when I went out into what was a very cold, windy morning in a very bitter Winter, I realised: “Blimey, that makes me a helluva lot warmer – who would have thought?”
Maggy Wassilieff
/ July 2, 2017If you go into the “woods” and see different trees, odds are that you are looking at many different types of trees with completely different evolutionary histories.
Example: a bit of swamp forest in NZ… cabbage tree, kahikatea, pukatea and manuka…
about as similar as a human, a kiore, a tui, and a tuatara.
Anonymous Coward
/ July 2, 2017And some people look at a tree and say “You’re too this, and not enough elephant,”
PDB
/ July 2, 2017Andrew Little is deadwood and Turei is off her tree – does that count?
Pete Kane
/ July 2, 2017Close enough Pants.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017🤔 And, as trees go, PDB. what, forsooth (if I might just borrow a useful word from someone), would you be, pray tell?
Anonymous Coward
/ July 2, 2017And Bill English is a length of tanalised 4×2.
PDB
/ July 2, 2017I picture you a bit like this AC….
Anonymous Coward
/ July 2, 2017And I see you like this…
Corky
/ July 2, 2017The Greens are ‘driftwood.’
PDB
/ July 2, 2017If people on here were trees……….
Zedd – Datura
Blazer – Lemon tree
Lurch – Mahoe (whitey wood)
Feel free to add……..
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Corky – Balsa
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Gezza- snakewood.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Sacre Blanquette! Ou did vous come from? My Corky alarm is on the bloody blink again❗️ 😡
PDB
/ July 2, 2017Corky is more like…….borer
Corky
/ July 2, 2017PDB- Bushman’s Friend. ( obviously a poor substitute for the real thing.)
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Your trees seem to be the most popular at the moment on overall uptick counts Corks.
1338 hours
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017(If you count borer as trees – which I’m doing, in the hope they grow into them)
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017🌸
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Trav – Holly
Missy – Rhododendron
PDB
/ July 2, 2017Alan – some old gums.
Conspiratoor
/ July 2, 2017Bristlecone pine …guess
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Nope. I reckon Mangrove.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017(complicated root system)
Conspiratoor
/ July 2, 2017Swamp dwelling bottom feeder
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Wasn’t quite what I meant, but ok – hard to argue with that.
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017A bit gnarly and salty – I can live with that:
https://1drv.ms/i/s!AuhKWHlH5hzQhLwOhYK_SEinD2uwRQ
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Oh, not me – I was talking about c.
Conspiratoor
/ July 2, 2017One scotch down and I’ve managed to metamorphose from mangrove swamp to mighty oak
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017It’ll the tannin from the barrel. Good show. 🌱
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017* be.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017If I’m snakewood, there are quite few different varieties of me. Spose that’s appropriate in some ways:
“Snakewood is a common name of several different plants:
Acacia xiphophylla (family Fabaceae) in Australia
Acacia intorta in Australia
Brosimum guianense (= Piratinera guianensis) (family Moraceae) in South America, an exotic hardwood prized for its highly figured grain[1]
Colubrina species (family Rhamnaceae) in North America
Condalia species (family Rhamnaceae)”
:Wiki
PDB
/ July 2, 2017Actually Lurch could also be a…………dogwood & Kitty a Pussy Willow
Zedd
/ July 2, 2017@pdb
feel the aroha ??
Pete George
/ July 2, 2017Not a forest (I grew up nowhere near forests) but a tree that could be me.
PDB
/ July 2, 2017I was thinking more this……
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017I’m not entirely certain, but I’m wondering if you might being a bit evil here ? 😳
PDB
/ July 2, 2017https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_man%27s_beard_in_New_Zealand
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Ah yes. A fatherly spread of branches. What sort of tree is it, PG, and why could it be you?
Conspiratoor
/ July 2, 2017For pg i went looking for a large and complex organism that has survived 1000 years in an inhospitable environment. Turned up the Adonis pine. Damn thing doesn’t look a day over 200
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017An redoubtable tree indeed.
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Pete- Monty’s Suprise. A chance apple tree find ( picture of original tree in link) Testing so far suggests it the most potent apple know to man.
Like Pete’s generosity with his time, these people are being generous by giving away free trees.
https://heritagefoodcrops.org.nz/montys-surprise
Pete George
/ July 2, 2017I have a Monty’s Surprise apple tree.
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Whaaaat!!! Do tell. I’m waiting for mine.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Brown:
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017(That one’s loomed a bit larger than I was expecting, tbh.)
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Lurchy- Boojum Tree.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Kitty – Camellia.
Robust, stand up to everything nature throws at them and laughs in its face, yet delicate of form & flower
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017To absent friends 🍺
PartisanZ
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Yes, Parti always had trouble seeing the tree from the wood. That said, his fractal complexity was a sight to behold. You have captured the essence of Parti to a tee.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Possum:
Ray
/ July 2, 2017PG s a matagouri or a wild Irishman
Yes I can see that.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017There’s a few of us about.
Some more fierce than others, admittedly.
Pete George
/ July 2, 2017I grew up in matagouri country.
But I’m not wild, nor Irish in any way. I’m a calm Kiwi.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Anyone game enough to do Maureen or Maggy? 😳
Pickled Possum
/ July 2, 2017http://www.treeof40fruit.com/
Unique and complex
The Tree of 40 Fruit is an ongoing series of hybridized fruit trees by contemporary artist Sam Van Aken. Each unique Tree of 40 Fruit grows over forty different types of stone fruit including peaches, plums, apricots, nectarines, cherries, and almonds.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017You sure are some smooth talker, Possers.
PDB
/ July 2, 2017Nelly = Stinging nettle.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Perfect. Been waiting all day for someone …
👍 Good man for stepping up to the mark!
Pete Kane
/ July 2, 2017I miss Nelly’s contributions (well, some).
traveller
/ July 2, 2017I love willow. I love living fences and I adore willow crafted statues. There’s something very beautiful about the nature of willow. To me it’s flexible and resilient – very human qualities. It retains these as cuttings can be moulded into any shape and express themselves organically by sprouting and reverting to the original in many cases.
https://www.niftyhomestead.com/blog/willow-tree-sculptures/
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Christ. Talk about over the bloody top trav.
traveller
/ July 2, 2017You think so? I have a relative who constructs living willow hedges for a living. He is also a sculptor. To me this is quite normal.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Yeah, it is pretty stunning. Tbh, it was actually just a cunning ploy to see if I could entice you into showing a bit of ankle & not telling the MOTH.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017(And for god’s sake don’t tell Blazer I asked. He thinks I’m being serious & he gets all poisonous over it)
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017See what I mean?
traveller
/ July 2, 2017Device man ticks dementedly.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017He lacks empathy trav. It’s why he has problems understanding teasing humour & mistakes it for attack. You’ll notice even “implaccable board-foes” here have all shared digs at each other, & from comments you can see they actually “get” the joke, can laugh at themselves, & have genuinely smiled at the light-hearted calumnies others have pronounced on them. But not device man. He wants to use humour but genuine light-hearted humour requires empathy. He has to try & mimic learned humour, but can only do that within a very limited range.
Conspiratoor
/ July 2, 2017Interesting observation G. Not sure who the vice man is but could probably guess. I think he has empathy but is just pathologically frustrated
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017No he wants to understand it. It’s why he posted the gorilla in the bar joke.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017You probably won’t believe it, couldn’t care less, will downtick me, but I actually care a little bit about you.
Duncan Brown
/ July 2, 2017As a teenager, I took part in an activity where I had to select a tree and describe why it reflected how I saw, thought, or felt about myself. A somewhat introspective exercise, but decidedly beneficial at the time.
patupaiarehe
/ July 2, 2017https://imgflip.com/i/1rump1
patupaiarehe
/ July 2, 2017Oopsie! Lets try that again…
https://imgflip.com/i/1rump1
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Waiting ….
patupaiarehe
/ July 2, 2017Nope, I give up 😦 You’ll just have to click on it G
patupaiarehe
/ July 2, 2017Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Snap! (Mine’s bigger than yours, I won’t tell)
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017💻 Click:
patupaiarehe
/ July 2, 2017Ta, as you can see above, my ‘brain fart’ has passed 😉
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Not to worry e hoa. I’m sure there’s plenty more where that came from. 👍
patupaiarehe
/ July 2, 2017Gezza
/ July 2, 2017🤔 Best I say no more. Good friends are hard to come by. 👍
Zedd
/ July 2, 2017I think some in here are just.. ‘out of your trees…’
btw; I’d rather be a HEMP ‘tree’ 😀
Zedd
/ July 2, 2017@PG
you must be the Kauri; lord of this forest of ‘trees’? 🙂
Zedd
/ July 2, 2017theres a few in here.. I’d call; poison ivy, BUT who am I to; name, names… ? 🙂
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Which one of us four is it?
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017Spill ya guts Zedd. You’re among friends.
Gezza
/ July 2, 2017🤔 Ok, maybe not Corky. 😳
Corky
/ July 2, 2017Correct.
Zedd
/ July 2, 2017I’m guessing ‘the Natz’ are all swamp kauri; dig it up & flog it off to the highest bidder ! 😀
pickled possum
/ July 2, 2017True fact ……. Kauri relies on depriving its competitors of nutrition in order to survive.
Also … very old kauri are partly hollow.
Corky
/ July 2, 2017”Very old Kauri are partly hollow.” I didn’t know that as most luthiers” use recovered Kauri from a lake in the South Island that’s solid as. I have plates made from such timber.
But.. http://www.guitars.co.nz/wood.html
PDB
/ July 2, 2017Labour post-election…..
PDB
/ July 2, 2017Griff……..
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 2, 2017I like!
Pickled Possum
/ July 3, 2017Morning All. Just a little point of interest that I was taught of the bush that there is 40 different hues of green in the bush. So I could tell the trees from their colour …from afar. 😎
Corky
/ July 3, 2017That’s incredible…like Indians who knew over 40 types of snow. Just shows us ‘Townies’ know so little of the real world.
traveller
/ July 3, 2017I’d love take you on safari PP. you would have such a skill to have in wildlife spotting. I liken the process of looking into vegetation to spot animals and birds as being like those 3D stereograms.
http://www.eyetricks.com/3dstereo.htm
Alan Wilkinson
/ July 3, 2017When I’m sliding down hillsides under kanuka trying to spot the gorse to spray I’m only interested in a couple of colours, Possum. Not very long range either.
Corky
/ July 3, 2017Lol.
Pickled Possum
/ July 3, 2017Al … yep gorse is bad but stinging nettle is worse … which I grabbed a hold of one hunt to stop myself from sliding over a cliff … OUCH … another thing I learnt was stinging nettle in the Uruwera is much more hurty than the ones at home. 10 years on I can still feel the physical when I have the memory.
Trav … Spotting for a venison just before dusk on a grass covered slip gave me eyes I didnt know I had. A guick flash of brown one day, a shot rang out, the stag, two hinds and a spiker ran for the hills. All just frightened off by the loud bang. I had only seen the stags hnd quarters. Yaaa now a camera is all this new vegan will take to the bush.
Oh memories, what a delight. A whole face of a hill covered in piko piko (hen and chicken fern) under giant Miro trees. Most delicious with wild pork, tastes like asparagus.
Gezza
/ July 3, 2017How do you prepare piko piko to make it taste like asparagus, & is it the root one eats, Possum?
Which has the stronger flavour?
Anonymous Coward
/ July 3, 2017Piko Piko is more than likely carcinogenic.
Gezza
/ July 3, 2017Pourquoi?
Anonymous Coward
/ July 3, 2017Most ferns are, and I don’t trust that the one fashionable one isn’t.
Pickled Possum
/ July 3, 2017The new fond I have eaten, not the root. Dont know bout the root. It has long been used as a green in the bush because of its availability.
As for it being a cancer causing well thats fake news to me.
Tho some ferns are carcinogenic like bracken which we were strongly advised to leave alone and to erradicate close to water ways.
The pikopiko was simmered with the meat at the last moments of cooking.
pikopiko is not a new fad but then only bush pigs know that and of course the patupaiarehe. There is a Maori chef who makes alsortz of food out of pikopiko like pizza😕
traveller
/ July 3, 2017Only a “new fad” to the chattering classes. Old food for the first people
Gezza
/ July 3, 2017👍 Kia ora koe, tuahine.
traveller
/ July 3, 2017Me too PP. Not a vegan, but my game action is limited to a Nikon DSLR. Passionate about wildlife preservation is an understatement.