Turning people into trees

Trees-RamDaas

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136 Comments

  1. Corky

     /  July 2, 2017

    That’s what makes us humans, we aren’t trees. We judge, and where possible take remedial action against adversities nature dishes out to us( not always successfully). From such action we form civilisations that are reaching for the stars.

    Meanwhile, a tree is just a tree. But it has the advantage of never being wrong.

    Disclaimer: I don’t like Ram Dass. I put him in the same category with Sai Baba.

    Reply
  2. Alan Wilkinson

     /  July 2, 2017

    When you look at a tree you see all there is. When you look at a human you don’t. You have to guess a lot. Then you have to guess how much to believe for your own safety and well-being.

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  July 2, 2017

      My consultations are free, Sir Alan.

      Reply
      • Gezza

         /  July 2, 2017

        Matter of fact, Brown & Blazer often seem to make me want to pay for them. Very peculiar indeed,
        🌸🌸

        Reply
      • Pete Kane

         /  July 2, 2017

        So if Sit Alan and Sir Gerald, were to be trees, what would they be?

        Reply
        • Gezza

           /  July 2, 2017

          I, Mr Kane, should be a mighty FiP tree. πŸ‘ 🌲

          Reply
          • Gezza

             /  July 2, 2017

            😑 FiP! * FiR tree.

            Reply
          • Anonymous Coward

             /  July 2, 2017

            Sir Al…?

            Reply
            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              The resemblance is certainly striking!

            • Alan Wilkinson

               /  July 2, 2017

              Except I never wear a tie, G.

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              Egad. An imposter, Sir Alan?
              The fellow’s a cad. 😑

            • Pete Kane

               /  July 2, 2017

              .”……I never wear a tie……”. Not even to a supporters meeting for your local (and much loved), MP?

            • Alan Wilkinson

               /  July 2, 2017

              Never been there, PK. The last time I was seen in a tie was about 1997 when the guys wanted to take a company photo and brought one along for me. In a moment of weakness I put it on for them.

            • Anonymous Coward

               /  July 2, 2017

              That must be where this photo was taken then. Those sunglasses are very 1997 come to think of it.

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              @ Naked Calendar shoot, Sir Alan, by any chance ? 😳
              Do you still have the calendar?

            • Alan Wilkinson

               /  July 2, 2017

              It would be a collectors item but no, Sir Gerald, sadly there is no remaining record of the tragic event. It did grace a website for quite a long time but no longer. When I left the Uni many moons ago for the corporate world the grateful staff gave me a double ended spoon (for stirring the left and stirring the right) and a tie they were convinced I would finally need for my new environment. They were wrong.

          • Alan Wilkinson

             /  July 2, 2017

            I did have three ties once but they were in no danger of wearing out and I think they must have decomposed at the back of the wardrobe.

            Reply
            • Conspiratoor

               /  July 2, 2017

              Useless trivia but I understand the only thing that ties google, amazon and apple together is their ban on this much maligned accessory. Probably why I never got the call up

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              I spent most the last 30 years of my 33 with the Public Service nver wearing tie. Suits, yes, but no tie. The only time it was ever a problem was when I spent week in Christchurch in the mid 80s relieving-in-charge of a District Office section.

              On the second Day the Asst District Superintendent called me in to his office & asked me to wear a tie because their Compliance Officers had revolted. They were refusing to wear times as per Office Policy in the hot Summer weather on duty & out in their vehicles because “that bloke from Head Office in charge here this week doesn’t have to”. I had none, so he loaned me two if his.

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              Sht! I bloody proof-read that! 😑
              God I’m bloody useless as a proof-reader. It used to be something I was bloody good at!

            • Alan Wilkinson

               /  July 2, 2017

              It’s much easier to proof-read someone else’s draft than your own, because you know what yours meant to say and your brain feeds it back.

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              Yep, true. But I was also adept at proof-reading my own voluminous writings at work, not just those of the underlings. Mind you, I never did it lying on the sofa, one arm behind my head which is resting on a cushion, with a tiny iPad – with only third of the screen available to view becoz of the onscreen keyboard – & the device balanced & propped cleverly but distantly away down near my knees. That’s my story, & I’m sticking to it. I’m sitting up now with the iPad on the little round Occasional Table. I’ve done a quick proof-read. Here goes…

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              *only ONE third

              πŸ€” Not bad. Still room for improvement. 😬

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              (PS: Sorry about the strong language a bit earlier. Just realised I haven’t had dinner. Am taking remedial action in that regard. )

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              PPS: Actually the above’s not strictly correct. I did end up wearing a tie in my last Winter with my Department. I put one on one morning as we had a formal occasion at work that day, one I thought it really deserved a tie. And when I went out into what was a very cold, windy morning in a very bitter Winter, I realised: “Blimey, that makes me a helluva lot warmer – who would have thought?”

  3. Maggy Wassilieff

     /  July 2, 2017

    If you go into the “woods” and see different trees, odds are that you are looking at many different types of trees with completely different evolutionary histories.
    Example: a bit of swamp forest in NZ… cabbage tree, kahikatea, pukatea and manuka…
    about as similar as a human, a kiore, a tui, and a tuatara.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous Coward

     /  July 2, 2017

    And some people look at a tree and say “You’re too this, and not enough elephant,”

    Reply
  5. PDB

     /  July 2, 2017

    Andrew Little is deadwood and Turei is off her tree – does that count?

    Reply
  6. PDB

     /  July 2, 2017

    If people on here were trees……….

    Zedd – Datura
    Blazer – Lemon tree
    Lurch – Mahoe (whitey wood)

    Feel free to add……..

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  July 2, 2017

      Corky – Balsa

      Reply
      • Corky

         /  July 2, 2017

        Gezza- snakewood.

        Reply
        • Gezza

           /  July 2, 2017

          Sacre Blanquette! Ou did vous come from? My Corky alarm is on the bloody blink again❗️ 😑

          Reply
        • PDB

           /  July 2, 2017

          Corky is more like…….borer

          Reply
          • Corky

             /  July 2, 2017

            PDB- Bushman’s Friend. ( obviously a poor substitute for the real thing.)

            Reply
            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              Your trees seem to be the most popular at the moment on overall uptick counts Corks.
              1338 hours

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              (If you count borer as trees – which I’m doing, in the hope they grow into them)

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              🌸

    • Gezza

       /  July 2, 2017

      Trav – Holly
      Missy – Rhododendron

      Reply
    • PDB

       /  July 2, 2017

      Alan – some old gums.

      Reply
    • Conspiratoor

       /  July 2, 2017

      Bristlecone pine …guess

      Reply
      • Gezza

         /  July 2, 2017

        Nope. I reckon Mangrove.

        Reply
        • Gezza

           /  July 2, 2017

          (complicated root system)

          Reply
          • Conspiratoor

             /  July 2, 2017

            Swamp dwelling bottom feeder

            Reply
            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              Wasn’t quite what I meant, but ok – hard to argue with that.

        • Alan Wilkinson

           /  July 2, 2017

          A bit gnarly and salty – I can live with that:

          https://1drv.ms/i/s!AuhKWHlH5hzQhLwOhYK_SEinD2uwRQ

          Reply
          • Gezza

             /  July 2, 2017

            Oh, not me – I was talking about c.

            Reply
            • Conspiratoor

               /  July 2, 2017

              One scotch down and I’ve managed to metamorphose from mangrove swamp to mighty oak

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              It’ll the tannin from the barrel. Good show. 🌱

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              * be.

          • Gezza

             /  July 2, 2017

            If I’m snakewood, there are quite few different varieties of me. Spose that’s appropriate in some ways:

            “Snakewood is a common name of several different plants:
            Acacia xiphophylla (family Fabaceae) in Australia
            Acacia intorta in Australia
            Brosimum guianense (= Piratinera guianensis) (family Moraceae) in South America, an exotic hardwood prized for its highly figured grain[1]
            Colubrina species (family Rhamnaceae) in North America
            Condalia species (family Rhamnaceae)”
            :Wiki

            Reply
    • PDB

       /  July 2, 2017

      Actually Lurch could also be a…………dogwood & Kitty a Pussy Willow

      Reply
    • Zedd

       /  July 2, 2017

      @pdb
      feel the aroha ??

      Reply
  7. Not a forest (I grew up nowhere near forests) but a tree that could be me.

    Reply
  8. Gezza

     /  July 2, 2017

    Brown:

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  July 2, 2017

      (That one’s loomed a bit larger than I was expecting, tbh.)

      Reply
  9. Corky

     /  July 2, 2017

    Lurchy- Boojum Tree.

    Reply
  10. Gezza

     /  July 2, 2017

    Kitty – Camellia.
    Robust, stand up to everything nature throws at them and laughs in its face, yet delicate of form & flower

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  July 2, 2017

      To absent friends 🍺

      PartisanZ

      Reply
      • Corky

         /  July 2, 2017

        Yes, Parti always had trouble seeing the tree from the wood. That said, his fractal complexity was a sight to behold. You have captured the essence of Parti to a tee.

        Reply
  11. Gezza

     /  July 2, 2017

    Possum:

    Reply
  12. Ray

     /  July 2, 2017

    PG s a matagouri or a wild Irishman
    Yes I can see that.

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  July 2, 2017

      There’s a few of us about.

      Some more fierce than others, admittedly.

      Reply
    • I grew up in matagouri country.

      But I’m not wild, nor Irish in any way. I’m a calm Kiwi.

      Reply
  13. Gezza

     /  July 2, 2017

    Anyone game enough to do Maureen or Maggy? 😳

    Reply
    • Pickled Possum

       /  July 2, 2017

      http://www.treeof40fruit.com/
      Unique and complex
      The Tree of 40 Fruit is an ongoing series of hybridized fruit trees by contemporary artist Sam Van Aken. Each unique Tree of 40 Fruit grows over forty different types of stone fruit including peaches, plums, apricots, nectarines, cherries, and almonds.

      Reply
    • PDB

       /  July 2, 2017

      Nelly = Stinging nettle.

      Reply
      • Gezza

         /  July 2, 2017

        Perfect. Been waiting all day for someone …

        πŸ‘ Good man for stepping up to the mark!

        Reply
      • Pete Kane

         /  July 2, 2017

        I miss Nelly’s contributions (well, some).

        Reply
  14. I love willow. I love living fences and I adore willow crafted statues. There’s something very beautiful about the nature of willow. To me it’s flexible and resilient – very human qualities. It retains these as cuttings can be moulded into any shape and express themselves organically by sprouting and reverting to the original in many cases.

    https://www.niftyhomestead.com/blog/willow-tree-sculptures/

    Reply
    • Gezza

       /  July 2, 2017

      Christ. Talk about over the bloody top trav.

      Reply
      • You think so? I have a relative who constructs living willow hedges for a living. He is also a sculptor. To me this is quite normal.

        Reply
        • Gezza

           /  July 2, 2017

          Yeah, it is pretty stunning. Tbh, it was actually just a cunning ploy to see if I could entice you into showing a bit of ankle & not telling the MOTH.

          Reply
          • Gezza

             /  July 2, 2017

            (And for god’s sake don’t tell Blazer I asked. He thinks I’m being serious & he gets all poisonous over it)

            Reply
          • Device man ticks dementedly.

            Reply
            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              He lacks empathy trav. It’s why he has problems understanding teasing humour & mistakes it for attack. You’ll notice even “implaccable board-foes” here have all shared digs at each other, & from comments you can see they actually “get” the joke, can laugh at themselves, & have genuinely smiled at the light-hearted calumnies others have pronounced on them. But not device man. He wants to use humour but genuine light-hearted humour requires empathy. He has to try & mimic learned humour, but can only do that within a very limited range.

            • Conspiratoor

               /  July 2, 2017

              Interesting observation G. Not sure who the vice man is but could probably guess. I think he has empathy but is just pathologically frustrated

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              No he wants to understand it. It’s why he posted the gorilla in the bar joke.

            • Gezza

               /  July 2, 2017

              You probably won’t believe it, couldn’t care less, will downtick me, but I actually care a little bit about you.

  15. As a teenager, I took part in an activity where I had to select a tree and describe why it reflected how I saw, thought, or felt about myself. A somewhat introspective exercise, but decidedly beneficial at the time.

    Reply
  16. I think some in here are just.. ‘out of your trees…’

    btw; I’d rather be a HEMP ‘tree’ πŸ˜€

    Reply
  17. Zedd

     /  July 2, 2017

    @PG

    you must be the Kauri; lord of this forest of ‘trees’? πŸ™‚

    Reply
  18. Zedd

     /  July 2, 2017

    theres a few in here.. I’d call; poison ivy, BUT who am I to; name, names… ? πŸ™‚

    Reply
  19. Zedd

     /  July 2, 2017

    I’m guessing ‘the Natz’ are all swamp kauri; dig it up & flog it off to the highest bidder ! πŸ˜€

    Reply
    • pickled possum

       /  July 2, 2017

      True fact ……. Kauri relies on depriving its competitors of nutrition in order to survive.
      Also … very old kauri are partly hollow.

      Reply
      • Corky

         /  July 2, 2017

        ”Very old Kauri are partly hollow.” I didn’t know that as most luthiers” use recovered Kauri from a lake in the South Island that’s solid as. I have plates made from such timber.

        But.. http://www.guitars.co.nz/wood.html

        Reply
  20. PDB

     /  July 2, 2017

    Labour post-election…..

    Reply
  21. PDB

     /  July 2, 2017

    Griff……..

    Reply
  22. Pickled Possum

     /  July 3, 2017

    Morning All. Just a little point of interest that I was taught of the bush that there is 40 different hues of green in the bush. So I could tell the trees from their colour …from afar. 😎

    Reply
    • Corky

       /  July 3, 2017

      That’s incredible…like Indians who knew over 40 types of snow. Just shows us ‘Townies’ know so little of the real world.

      Reply
    • I’d love take you on safari PP. you would have such a skill to have in wildlife spotting. I liken the process of looking into vegetation to spot animals and birds as being like those 3D stereograms.

      http://www.eyetricks.com/3dstereo.htm

      Reply
    • Alan Wilkinson

       /  July 3, 2017

      When I’m sliding down hillsides under kanuka trying to spot the gorse to spray I’m only interested in a couple of colours, Possum. Not very long range either.

      Reply
      • Corky

         /  July 3, 2017

        Lol.

        Reply
      • Pickled Possum

         /  July 3, 2017

        Al … yep gorse is bad but stinging nettle is worse … which I grabbed a hold of one hunt to stop myself from sliding over a cliff … OUCH … another thing I learnt was stinging nettle in the Uruwera is much more hurty than the ones at home. 10 years on I can still feel the physical when I have the memory.
        Trav … Spotting for a venison just before dusk on a grass covered slip gave me eyes I didnt know I had. A guick flash of brown one day, a shot rang out, the stag, two hinds and a spiker ran for the hills. All just frightened off by the loud bang. I had only seen the stags hnd quarters. Yaaa now a camera is all this new vegan will take to the bush.
        Oh memories, what a delight. A whole face of a hill covered in piko piko (hen and chicken fern) under giant Miro trees. Most delicious with wild pork, tastes like asparagus.

        Reply
        • Gezza

           /  July 3, 2017

          How do you prepare piko piko to make it taste like asparagus, & is it the root one eats, Possum?

          Which has the stronger flavour?

          Reply
          • Anonymous Coward

             /  July 3, 2017

            Piko Piko is more than likely carcinogenic.

            Reply
            • Gezza

               /  July 3, 2017

              Pourquoi?

            • Anonymous Coward

               /  July 3, 2017

              Most ferns are, and I don’t trust that the one fashionable one isn’t.

          • Pickled Possum

             /  July 3, 2017

            The new fond I have eaten, not the root. Dont know bout the root. It has long been used as a green in the bush because of its availability.
            As for it being a cancer causing well thats fake news to me.
            Tho some ferns are carcinogenic like bracken which we were strongly advised to leave alone and to erradicate close to water ways.
            The pikopiko was simmered with the meat at the last moments of cooking.
            pikopiko is not a new fad but then only bush pigs know that and of course the patupaiarehe. There is a Maori chef who makes alsortz of food out of pikopiko like pizzaπŸ˜•

            Reply
        • Me too PP. Not a vegan, but my game action is limited to a Nikon DSLR. Passionate about wildlife preservation is an understatement.

          Reply

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