Political carols

Excerpts from Toby Manhire: Walking in a Winston Wonderland

We Three Things:

Jacinda Ardern solo:
Just a kid from Moh-orrinsville
Keen to help out Andy Little
It’s not hubris, to just do this
Truth is that I quite like Bill
James Shaw solo:
Great Together, I believe in
Speak the truth – that’s how we win
Metiria, great co-leader
Popped into recycling bin
Winston Peters solo:
Had enough? Too right they had
Status quo was very bad
Need a deadline? Watch it, Sunshine
Covfefe, believe me, sad!

We Wish you a Merry Christmas
Feat Bill English

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And would just note in passing that the National Party won more votes than anyone and yet is not in government which a lot of ordinary New Zealanders will find surprising as they approach their Happy New Year.

Gareth the Red Mo’ed Reindeer
As sung by Gareth Morgan

Gareth the Red Mo’ed Reindeer
Had a very small ego
But all the lipsticked reindeers
Were a bunch of thick bozos

Fiscal Spells
As sung by Steven Joyce

O! Fiscal spells, fiscal spells
Fiscal hole, OK?
O what fun it is to ride
When you’re running the campaign.

Little Drummer Boy
As sung by Andrew Little

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
Just a new deputy, pa rum pum pum pum
Must replace Annette King, pa rum pum pum pum
Anyway you know what happened after that and it’s all fine now.

Mārie Te Pō
As sung by Don Brash

Mārie te pō, tapu te pō
Marino, marama
Ko te Whāea, me te Tama
Tama tino, tapu rā
Moe mai i te aio
Moe mai i te aio.

Google doesn’t translate that well, but it is obviously

Silent night, holy night, calm, bright etc.

Whāea is mother, Tama is boy/sun but no sign of a virgin there.


Leave a comment


  1. duperez

     /  22nd December 2017

    O National fans

    O National fans, O National fans
    Thy hate is unrelenting
    You’ll up make names for Ms Ardern
    Eternally part of venting
    The only one significant
    Since she is in the Government
    Is “The PM”, is “The PM”
    So save your sad inventing.

    • Kitty Catkin

       /  22nd December 2017

      Oh, duperez, oh duperez,
      I wish you would learn to scan;
      When writing parodies of songs,
      It’s much better if you can.

      The parody should have the
      Original’s scanned lines,
      So it will sound the same when sung
      And then will all be fine.

  2. PDB

     /  22nd December 2017

    Ode to Labour (Sung to Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’).

    Last Christmas, I gave you my tax
    But the very next day you gave it away

    Santa Claus Is Coming to Town – Winston Peters

    You better watch out
    You better not cry
    Better not pout
    I’m telling you why
    Winston Peters is taking you to court
    He’s making a list
    He’s checking it twice;
    You better get lots of legal advice
    Winston Peters is taking you to court
    He thinks that you’ve been leaking
    He really is a flake
    He knows he’s taking us for a ride
    His super was just fake!

    We Wish You a Merry Christmas – The new NZ govt

    We wish you a Scary Christmas
    We wish you a Scary Christmas
    We wish you a Scary Christmas
    Higher taxes are near

    Infighting we bring
    And more people at WINZ;
    Less money for taxpayers
    And we really don’t care!

  3. Kitty Catkin

     /  22nd December 2017

    NZ First Supporter…

    Last Christmas. I gave you my vote,
    But the very next day, you gave it away-
    Next year, to save all my tears,
    I’m giving my vote to National.

    • PDB

       /  22nd December 2017

      I like it Kitty!

    • Kitty Catkin

       /  22nd December 2017

      You’d better not charge, you’d better not sue,
      You’ll look a right fool-I’m talking to you-
      Winston, it’s the wrong thing to do.

      It makes you look bad that talking to Bill
      You’d planned things before and knew that you will
      Soon be suing Bill’s lot,,.you dill..

      Already you’d laid charges,
      Already made your plan;
      You knew you would not join the’ Nats’-*
      That is not the done thing, man.

      Youd better go back
      And stop the whole case
      And find a new tack-
      Don’t mind saving face,
      Winston, that’s the right thing to do.

      * National won’t fit this song


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