Male survivors of childhood sexual abuse

An important item in Sunday last night on male sexual abuse – they claimed that 1 in 6 males have been victims of abuse.

In this item the abusers were men, women, children, teens.

Male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Brave Kiwi guys, sharing their stories in the hope that others will seek help.

Brave men coming out and speaking about this in public.

Stuff:  Neil Sorensen’s years of abuse: ‘I had this horrible, big secret – and it was unbearable’

“People pretend this stuff doesn’t happen, but it does, and it ruins lives,” he says. “This story needs to be told, so that more people can get help.”

Sorensen, the former general manager of New Zealand Rugby, reveals the extent of his abuse in an interview with TVNZ’s Sunday this weekend.

Awful. As are the experiences of the other two.


Safe to Talk – 0800 044 334 (24/7) text 4334, or email

Rape Crisis – 0800 88 33 00 (will direct you to a nearby centre), click link for information on local helplines

HELP – 09 623 1700 – support services for sexual abuse and assault survivors

Victim Support – 0800 842 846 (24hr service)

The Harbour, online support and information for people affected by sexual abuse

Women’s Refuge (For women and children) – crisis line available on 0800 733 843

Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust  03 377 6747 (For men)

If it is an emergency, or you or someone you know is at risk call 111.

Former general manager of New Zealand Rugby, Neil Sorensen says "I'm able to talk to guys and say, 'look, you can suffer ...

Former general manager of New Zealand Rugby, Neil Sorensen says “I’m able to talk to guys and say, ‘look, you can suffer trauma, survive, get help and still be a good person’.”

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  1. ezy2luv

     /  17th September 2018

    “claimed that 1 in 6 males have been victims of abuse.”

    This is like the 1 in 4 stat for females, the definition for “abuse’ is probably vague and broad.
    Is there in citation for the claimed stat?

  2. ezy2luv

     /  17th September 2018

    The 1 in 6 stat is probably as dodgy as the 1 in 4 claim for females. The definition of ‘abuse’ is probably broad and vague.

  3. Alan Wilkinson

     /  17th September 2018

    Very important to direct anger at the right target.

  4. robertguyton

     /  17th September 2018

    ” 1 in 6 males have been victims of abuse.”
    And the post attracts … next to no comments.

    • Gezza

       /  17th September 2018

      I didn’t watch it. Ma told me about when we had brunch in a local cafe after I took her to hospital this morning for a blood test. She said one of them was abused by a woman when he was 12 and he eventually took her to Court & she was convicted. I’ve had this page on the back burner to maybe read & see if there’s anything I want to say. I’ve never been abused nor known anyone male or female who was until my uncle died & had flatly refused to allow a priest to conduct a Catholic requiem mass.

      He was abused by a priest when sent to live at a convent for a while as a boy. Nobody knew – my aunty his widow told me when I spent some time alone with her after the secular farewell service before heading back to North Welly. If something doesn’t interest me & someone or something else is taking up I my time I don’t bother to comment.

  5. Gezza

     /  17th September 2018

    I got distracted here by robert so I realised I missed most of it but there was an item on 1ewes at 6 about this issue. Kelvin Davis was featured saying he has encountered many many cases of men prisoners telling him they were abused in his role as Minister of Corrections & there are very few services available to specifically help men deal with the impact of it – that he is determined to do something about it – so good on him.

    It obviously really affects some men badly & they are the type who need to talk about it & get help for it. My uncle wasn’t – but I certainly would have been if what happened to him happened to me.

    • Kitty Catkin

       /  17th September 2018

      I suspect that a young boy being used sexually by a woman is less likely to be given sympathy, especially if he’s older and not a child, than a girl who’s had sex with a man. I have heard of it being seen as lucky beggar, hur hur hur….

      A friend who was abused at the age of 11 and told not to tell – it was a pastor and little J was told that this was a wonderful way for people to become really close – was really damaged by this.He knew it was ‘dirty’;, but his body liked it. Endless confusion resulted, and I am sure that that he punished himself by not practicing safe sex – with predictable results in the 80s.

      I never regretted telling some little girls who felt uncomfortable at being cuddled and caressed by an older man to tell their parents about this, and I told the minister of the church.

      I didn’t then and don’t know believe that anything untoward would have happened or that the man meant anything sexual by it*, but his hurt feelings were less important than young girls being affected by what he was doing. He would sit them on his knee and cuddle them and they couldn’t see a way to stop it.I think that he WAS hurt, because he was just being avuncular, but they were past the age when they were all right about this and to me, their feelings were paramount. I don’t envy the minister having to tell him that the girls were feeling uncomfortable about him, though. How awful for a man to be told such a thing. .

      * not consciously, anyway


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