Confronting the real abuse

I have been witnessing an online campaign of abuse, false and unsubstantiated accusation, character assassination, misrepresentation of identities, attempts to shut down speech, attempts to shut down organisations. It has ranged from annoying to disgraceful.

And that’s not the worst of it. Others have linked some of this to criminal and mental health histories, death threats, even incest. This is associated with people who present themselves as working against abuse – some of them are the worst of abusers.

There’s only a few people actively doing this, but they also draw in others to support them, using (and abusing) vulnerable people to promote their own agendas.

I and others have gathered evidence of all of these things, and have established identities behind it. There’s a lot of evidence.  Here’s some of what’s on the surface.

1. Cherie Nark NZ (Show NZ the Money!)

This Facebook page is a campaign to discredit and shut up and shut down a person and an organisation with a public profile. It keeps making unsubstantiated and false accusations, and unreasonable demands for information. It keeps breaching Facebook rules by using names, photos and logos and identities of others.

The biggest nonsense of this is the campaigners preach transparency while trying to remain anonymous. But the more they do the more they reveal themselves.

2. Kate (Katherine) Raue

It doesn’t take much searching to see that this person has been involved in a number of campaigns and sustained attacks on people, including the police, mayors and ex MPs.

I was involved with an exchange of comments with her on Voxy – Nark ‘falsely accused’ – where she made a disgraceful allegation that a woman was responsible for the death of her child. The comments have been removed by Voxy.

[Edit: to respect innocent people that may be tainted by association I have removed some links.

My point still stands that there has been a commonality between attacks on NARK and other attack campaigns online, and there are some identities in common that appear in different abuses and attempts to shut down information.]

There’s obvious links across these campaigns of abuse and threats, and some common names keep appearing. I’ve seen threats of legal action that never happen, threats of police action that never happens (I’ve just seen evidence that the police have no record of complaints that have been claimed).

Transparency should not just be in one direction – it’s time a light was shone on those abusive hypocrites behind this.

NARK blog – Report One

This is a guest blog post as requested by the contributor and is the opinion of the contributor only. 

Report One into the allegations swarming around in regards to NARK.

So far names and groups of those involved in the smear campaign against NARK and some personally involved have been collected.  These findings indicate some if not a large number elected to the Interim Working Party of NARK were in fact from the Boycotters of the Breaking Silence, the Kahui Book face book pages and the anti Ian Wishart campaign.

That is a rather disturbing revelation and that being said, then joining NARK, is in complete and total contrast to the cause and foundation principle of NARK.  Whether you disagree or agree with the book, it’s being on sale or if you want to read the book or not, that is irrelevant to the fact it is, in line with taking a stand against Child Abuse in that particular case, and is speaking out.  In essence, also trying to help raise awareness on the issue of child abuse in NZ via that one story, whether you agree with it or not.

For the record I have no views on the book or what it contains. I do however question the misaligned moral logic of members from the anti Breaking Silence campaign and Facebook groups whom hold the opposite core principle to NARK, then wanting to jump on board NARK.  That only begs the questions, where was their moral alignment or care of duty, to this fledgling organization while being in both camps?  This could only result in bringing disrepute to one or the other if not both efforts, to raise awareness to the child abuse issue, in NZ.  This indeed has been the result thus far, let alone to them.

Investigation finding some ex-members comments on other face book pages can only conclude the situation with NARK today, in itself, is a direct cause and also a direct result of this moral divide and or dilemma(s) of said ex-members feet, being in both camps.  This moral divide, willingly or unwittingly, has brought disrepute to a fledgling organization which raised the profile of Child abuse in NZ almost overnight.

This subject was bought out into the open and got people talking about a much taboo subject in NZ society and that focus, has now shifted.  My findings are that these morally divided folk have not seen their misaligned moral judgments or the damage it is causing, while they are striking out instead, of reviewing their own stance and views, of being on either, one side of the other, not both.

This can only beg the following questions. Are they helping or hindering the core need in New Zealandof finding resolution to the issue of Child Abuse?  Are they after some similar media attention and spot-light afforded to Cherie and NARK?  If they become involved in other such similar organizations should they be supported or thoroughly investigated?   My findings and learning of other fund raising efforts they have partaken, in a similar unstructured vain in which resulted in accusations against NARK, would suggest that the same scrutiny is warranted there, and possibly more fitting.

There is need for further investigation here due to collected evidence of some involved giving misleading information on the subject of fund raising.   Never the less, the behavior witnessed is only prudent of why there is more of a need for such an awareness campaign in New Zealandon child abuse, while raising more issues in need of attention.

This situation of using the internet and social medium to harass accuse abuse and bully NARK, aligns well with the Cyber Bulling Legislation currently being looked at in Parliament.  The whole picture including various NARK accusation pages set up via Facebook is a clear demonstration and the example Government needed to validate why this legislation is urgently needed in regards to curb cyber bullying. There is an urgent need, as this clearly demonstrates by this campaign of accusers and why better monitoring as to who can access this medium, and for what purpose.  The mis-use of a telephone line springs to mind and could be the platform to look at further widening of charges in regards to cyber bullying. Either way, Government now has a case to look at, is the findings here.

Irrelevant you may say??  Actually, it is very relevant. Why?? You may ask. There are children around you, witnessing this behavior whether you are a parent, a grandparent, foster caregiver, aunt uncle brother sister parent friend or neighbor. No matter what side you are on.  Children are most certainly being exposed to this venom abuse and accusations via the use of the internet in their own homes, towards NARK.

I find it ironic and stupefying that children could very well be and possibly are being neglected while these accusers spread their accusations sitting on the internet instead of spending quality time with their children or nieces nephew’s grandchildren etc.  This may also be putting more children at risk or worse still, see them follow suit with acting in a similar fashion of bullying in the play ground or street harassing another child needlessly because he/she doesn’t have the right label pants on.

The fact my investigations reveal many of the accusers and abusers hurling accusation at NARK have children in their home find and can only conclude, these actions and behaviors are totally and immorally, bankrupt.  The choices you are now giving your own children is to follow suit. They could already be following the behavior of the parent abuser/accusers example and could well now, become abusers themselves. As they say, child leads by example and this isn’t a good example seen by many who are watching the goings on, on these accusation based, face book pages.

The mind boggles.  That thought is truly daunting and not the prudent actions of any, child abuse campaign supporter.  I dare say again, here is the same moral divide of being in both camps and their own actions born of that divide yet to be considered nor realized, sadly, while causing a lot of angst and misery for others while they, attention seek.  Further investigations reveal this could be a thought process disorder.

This bares the next question. Should Government now be expected to undertake an investigation into all these organizations claiming to represent children or client, given this example, is possibly the moral fiber and background of some of these folk in other, such similar organization to NARK?   Further investigations reveal some of which have spring boarded off the back of NARK and house some of these NARK accusers and abusers.

The findings suggest this would be prudent and perhaps stop and or prevent needless and possibly dubious interactions of these morally divided, interacting with some at risk children, quite possibly and not to mention their own.  Perhaps this would also save the Government revenue and wasted time on nit-picking accusations wasting valuable time effort and  money on fruitless investigations derived out of spite and malice and divided logic, revenue which is much needed, else where.

In regards to the allegations against NARK, this investigation reveals this fledgling organization has been extremely transparent while others, not so much and perhaps should be before casting stones.  Suggestion would be that the founder of this organization puts notice up to anyone interested or wanting any further information; they can do so by way of written request under the Official Information Act.  Accusers, stop trying to steal the lime-light while you attention seek at this organizations and supporters expense and give NARK some breathing room to get on with the tasks given to them, cleaning up the mess left  by some of the anti Breaking Silence campaign supporters, exit of  NARK.

This investigation will most certainly continue with hope the next installment reports adults behaving more like adults and setting a good example for their own children to follow with sound moral fiber in regard to gossiping and passing judgments.  This is very much needed for the task of changing the face of child abuse and abuse in general in New Zealand and without, is a lost cause as has been demonstrated, and not the way forward.

Which begs the last questions of this report and hopefully something for you to think about: Is this the New Zealandway?? Is this the way to demonstrate building brighter communities for children’s safer futures???  Where is the mutual respect???

Where is the Team work???  Where in this debacle are any of you thinking of the Children inNew Zealand???   How counter-productive to the cause with this smear campaign can you be???  How many Children are being neglected put at risk and abused by these actions while you ignore your own children????  Lastly, how on earth can you call yourselves child abuse campaigners when you act in this manner???

Please put some prospective on it.  Kia kaha NZ Children.

Good Narks and nastiness

There have been good Narks, also frustrations, but it’s been very sad to see the depths of nastiness that some knockers have resorted to.

I’ve been with Nark since pretty much when it began last year, most of the time mostly towards the sidelines. Like virtually everyone who got involved I wanted to help do something about New Zealand’s terrible record of child abuse and violence.

In some ways Nark was very successful and popular.  Many people joined wanting to do things around the country. The problem is that while there was plenty of doing and enthusiasm Nark grew too big too quickly to manage properly. The time and effort required for organisation and administration was not given priority, resulting in some problems and many frustrations.

This led to a mass resignation in January. Nark was a voluntary fledgling organisation and those who had become involved had other priorities in their lives to deal with. Some decided Nark was not for them. Most who left went on to doing different things or things differently. Fair enough.

But…

A few people who left Nark (and some who joined them later) started a campaign to discredit Nark, maybe they aimed to destroy. They have continued a campaign of abuse and accusation, some of it quite personal and nasty.

Why? That’s a very good question.

I admit there are still things that need to be addressed and done in Nark to get it on a sound and acceptable footing. There always will be administration that needs to be done, the paperwork has to be present and correct.

But I think it is inexcusable the way the campaign of hate has happened, some of what I have seen has been disgraceful. There are ways of addressing problems, but vindictive nasty attacks , abuse and accusations are never acceptable – especially from people who are supposedly working against abuse.

Probably just about everyone attracted to dealing with abuse and violence have their own histories and stories, some can be quite awful. Most of us have unresolved personal issues, it’s the nature of life.

Lashing out at others, giving the verbal bash, this doesn’t solve anything for anyone, all it does is makes things worse. It keeps the culture of abuse alive and kicking – in the guts. It doesn’t even help those who are lashing out, all it does is extend their bad feelings.

If issues come up that need addressing, sure, there are reasonable ways to bring them to attention and to deal with them.

But surely the abuse, the online violations of decency, must be seen for what they are, counterproductive to dealing with the real problems out there. We should be working for the children in danger, they need adults who will speak up and act for them. And there’s a few adults crying out for help in dealing with their unresolved problems too.

There’s only a few real haters and wreckers, jealous and vindictive. Maybe they should be ashamed of themselves. Maybe they need help.

Unfortunately others jump on the abuse bandwagon and put a few kicks in too – see it for the destructiveness and nastiness it is. Don’t feed the monster. Redirect your efforts at things that will help others, or yourself.

The hate is a continuation of the problem we are supposed to be working against.

Surely we should all be working for better, worse is a curse on all of us. We have to attack the violence and abuse culture, not the people trying to do something about it.

Imperfect as we all are, imperfect as Nark has been, we need to make better.

N.A.R.K. now

NARK started by one person, Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney, pushing herself to speak out against child abuse. It has grown into a substantial grass roots movement that is creating more awareness of child abuse, and offering help in doing something about child abuse.

N.A.R.K -Nation of Advocates for the Rights of Kids.

If any  of us involved with families and communities  see or suspect child abuse we have a responsibility to do something about it.

Even those of us who consider ourselves to be non-violent can help deal with the problem of family violence by speaking out against people who propose violence, or talk about violence as if it is normal and acceptable.

In most cases violence is not acceptable. In all cases violence against and abuse of children is totally unacceptable.

This is a family and community problem. Solutions have to come from withing  families and communities.

NARK is now the good thing for kids!

From the NARK website:

What should you do if you suspect abuse?

If it’s an Emergency

If it’s an emergency and you suspect a child is at serious risk, or a crime against a child has been committed this must be reported.

IN AN EMERGENCY CALL 111

Or call Crimestoppers 0800555111
(completely anonymous but information will be passed onto police without knowing your details)

“we can’t standby and ignore child abuse but we understand that it can be difficult to provide the information publicly. However, anonymity via Crimestoppers empowers…..”

When it’s not an Emergency

Taking action to protect a child doesn’t always mean extreme measures. There are lots of things you can do which may help to prevent abuse even occurring or stop it very early.

See http://www.nark.org.nz/How_To_Help_NARK.html for more details.

NARK the Non-Violent Code of Silence

We all know how bad the tentacles of violence spread, violence is far too prevalent through all levels of our society. Violence has a major impact on relationships, children, families, workplaces, schools.

The effects of violence spread through to health, crime, unemployment, productivity, education, entertainment, sport – violent effects are pervasive through our families and communities and society.

We all know the problems with violent men.

Non-violent men are as big a part of the problem as violent men. Through their greater numbers and their complicity non-violent men are a bigger part of the problem. Through their code of silence non-violent men have allowed the levels of violence to remain and fester and boil with rage.

I’d bet the every non-violent man has heard other men talking of their violence, sometimes even skiting, about “sorting out the missus” or “having a good scrap” or “giving the kid a good hiding”.

And I’d bet every non-violent man will admit to times they have remained silent, allowing the violent men among us to believe that what they do is normal and it’s ok, because no one speaks up and says it’s not normal and it’s not ok.

Violent men need to address their problems, they need to learn why they are violent, they need to learn how to deal with their violent behaviour, and they need to stop being so violent.

Non-violent men need to address their problem too. Non-violent men need to stand up to violence, they need to speak against violence when they hear of it or see it.

Non-violent men need to break their code of silence.

Non-violent men need  to NARK on violence.

Then we will really address violence in our society.

NARK Stop Child Abuse media coverage

Stop Child Abuse Memorial, 3 September 2011 has grown into a major event of ordinary people standing up and speaking up about child abuse. The event is getting coverage around the country.

Location map.

Tuesday 9 August 2011

Memorial planned for abused kids

Waikato Times

A Waikato woman who was labelled a nark for talking to police about the death of a Ngaruawahia baby is asking New Zealanders to remember child abuse victims in a special memorial.

Nation of Advocates for the Rights of Kids (Nark) founder Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney said she would like New Zealanders to place soft toys at war memorials on September 3.

The memorial was for children who had died at the hands of someone who was supposed to be caring for them, she said.

Thursday 11 August 2011

Soft-toy campaign to highlight child abuse

The Herald

A mother wants a war memorial gesture to draw attention to often brutal deaths.

A Ngaruawahia mother hopes soft toys can save lives in a unique national protest against child abuse.

Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney, a neighbour of 6-month-old Serenity Scott-Dinnington who died in April, is calling on all New Zealanders to lay soft toys at war memorials around the country on September 3 to remember children who have died from abuse.

Saturday 13 August 2011

RSA embraces soft toy protest

The Daily Post

Rotorua’s Returned Services Association is supporting an anti-child abuse protest organised by a Ngaruawahia woman.

Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney wants people to leave a soft toy at their local war memorial on the morning of September 3 in protest at the high number of deaths caused by child abuse in New Zealand.

Monday 29 August 2011

Toy tribute for children at memorial

Howick and Pakuranga Times

CUDDLY soft toys are being collected to pay tribute to fallen heroes and to serve as a reminder that children need to be protected.

People across the country will be placing teddy bears on war memorials as part of a campaign set up by outspoken child safety advocate Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney.

Tuesday 30 August 2011

Child victims to be remembered

Marlborough Express

A Picton woman inspired by Ngaruawahia mother Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney’s efforts to raise awareness of child abuse is organising a memorial in Picton to remember children who have died through child abuse.

Karen McLeod of Picton is organising the Picton event…

Wednesday 31 August 2011

‘Narks’ urged to speak up about child abuse

Taranaki Daily News

Taranaki mums proud to call themselves “narks” are urging more people to speak up about child abuse.

Four of them are organising memorial events on Saturday to remember children killed at the hands of caregivers. They join “narks” around New Zealand leading the cause on behalf of new national organisation Nark: Nation of Advocates for the Rights of Kids.

Antoniah Snooks, Renee Barlow and Kirsten Lawrence are co-ordinating the New Plymouth event at Marsland Hill, while in Central and South Taranaki Carolyn Cragg has taken up the cause. People are being asked to donate a toy in remembrance and donations are going to Barnardos and the Open Home Foundation.

Taranaki mums proud to call themselves ‘narks’

TVNZ

Four women are organising memorial events on Saturday to remember children killed at the hands of caregivers.

They join “narks” around New Zealand leading the cause on behalf of new national organisation Nark: Nation of Advocates for the Rights of Kids.

Rally for abused children

Central Leader

Nia Glassie, the Kahui twins and Serenity Scott-Dinnington all died violently. But a young mother wants to show Aucklanders that other children don’t have to meet the same fate.

Seemal Govan will ask members of the public to place a toy or teddy bear at the New Lynn War Memorial this Saturday as a mark of solicitude for the hundreds of babies who have died as victims of child abuse.

All teddy bears and toys left at the site will be donated to organisations that work with children, such as Women’s Refuge and Starship Hospital.

Friday 2 August 2011

Strong symbol for child abuse

Sunlive

Tauranga NARK memorial service organiser Suzy Brown says child abuse is a subject she is passionate about after acting as a foster parent for Child Youth and Family – fostering many children who had suffered from abuse.

“The children I was fostering were mostly pre-school aged as that is the area I specialise in. I saw the call out for a NARK organiser in Tauranga and signed up straight away.”

Gisborne Herald

NARK is not a dirty word when it comes to protecting children, says Gisborne child advocate Trevor Shaskey.

Mr Shaskey is calling on Gisborne and East Coast people to support Sweeney and her cause by coming together and showing support in a peaceful rally and balloon release ceremony at the Cenotaph tomorrow at 11.30am.

Region active for spring weekend

The Malborough Express

A memorial will also be held at the Picton War Memorial on Sunday between noon and 3pm to raise awareness of child abuse. People are encouraged to lay soft toys at the memorial which will be donated to Women’s Refuge.

Karen McLeod, of Picton, is organising the Picton event, one of several to be held inspired by Ngaruawahia mother Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney’s efforts to raise awareness of child abuse. Ms Sweeney, a neighbour of six-month-old Serenity Scott-Dinnington who died in April, was labelled a nark when she spoke out after Serenity’s death.

Soft toys for a hard stance

The Daily Post

Toys will adorn one of Rotorua’s war memorials tomorrow to encourage people to speak up about child abuse.

Rotorua people are being encouraged to show their support for victims of child abuse by bringing a soft toy to the Arawa War Memorial in Government Gardens on Saturday.

Rotorua co-ordinator of Nark Angie Philps is organising the Rotorua Stop Child Abuse Now day which is being held on Saturday around the country.

Monday 5 September 2011

Event to remember child-abuse victims

Otago Daily Times

Toys instead of wreaths were placed at the bottom of Dunedin’s Cenotaph on Saturday, in memory of children who died in the worst imaginable circumstances.

Dunedin women Mary Sharp and Catherine Syme said they had come to drop off some toys because they wanted to show their respect for the child victims of abuse and raise awareness of the problem. People who knew abuse was occurring had to say something instead of keeping silent, they said.

“STOP the Deaths from Child Abuse! NOW!”

Cherie stood up and spoke out against child abuse. She was attacked by some for doing that, but she kept speaking out and keeps highlighting the issue and building support for abused children.

Memorial planned for abused kids

A Waikato woman who was labelled a nark for talking to police about the death of a Ngaruawahia baby is asking New Zealanders to remember child abuse victims in a special memorial.

Nation of Advocates for the Rights of Kids (Nark) founder Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney said she would like New Zealanders to place soft toys at war memorials on September 3.

This is her latest initiative.

STOP the Deaths from Child Abuse! NOW!

03 September · 12:00 – 15:00

This memorial for our children who have died at the hands of someone who was supposed to be caring for them is simple,it does not cost BUT it will have huge impact.
I am asking you to spare 1 Toy/soft cuddly on September the 3rd and encourage everyone you can and know to do the same.

1 Toy to be placed at your towns local memorial statue or wall, in memory of our fallen heroes, the many children lost to child abuse.

Since our great soldiers passed there have been none other like them ever except for these Babies and I want a nation to accept awareness because for these children thats the very least we can be. AWARE.

Thank you and I really hope you can help.
Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney

Great to see someone start doing something positive about a major problem, and great to see the growing support for her efforts.

Returned and Services Association president Don McIver said veterans support the initiative. “Our veterans fought and gave their lives for the preservation of our democratic way of life and for the preservation of the individual safety and freedom which we all cherish I am sure that the veterans themselves would have seen this cause as a most worthy one, providing the dignity of the memorials is preserved.”

Speaking up is part of confronting the problem.

STOP Death by Abuse of our Children on Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/STOP-Death-by-Abuse-of-our-Children/166417770086797