A Solution to the Middle East Problem

Guest Post: Unitedtribes

During my life I have been involved in many different and varied careers. So in order to keep my mind active I thought I might try my hand at Geo Politics. After all my name suggests I might be good at it. So, for starters, and to cut my teeth in this field, I am going to establish

A Solution to the Middle East Problem.

First the current situation and to keep it simple:

The area is populated by mostly Arabs who are mostly Muslim who are either Shiite or Sunni. The difference is in how they choose their leader (I see Labour heading for the same problem here). You may think the conflicts between these two sects would be quite easy to sort out but you have to remember were talking about Arabs here (Labour haven’t got this excuse). To complicate this some of the Sunni have cut up a bit rougher than the others (ISIS) and moved into areas that weren’t rightly theirs. The main other party is the Kurds who are also Muslim but seem to have mastered the skill of being able to get on with people that is as long as they aren’t Turks.

This is were Geo Politics plays its greatest part. Everyone must help out.

The Kurds are in the thick of it spanning every country in the area and having taken an initial hit from ISIS are now fighting back and have shown they are the only effective ground force capable of taken on ISIS in the area.

Turkey is the obvious country to play the game but because they both hate the Syrian leader Assad and the Turks they are supporting ISIS with logistics and free movement through their borders for reinforcements.

The UN bullied them (the Turks) into joining the coalition so they let US use one of their airbases to fight ISIS and also declared they would bomb ISIS. They actually did drop a bomb on some building were ISIS may have had a position last week but then went onto drop 6000 bombs on the Kurds who were the US friends.

The USA (and its coalition mates) hates Assad (Shiite), has drawn some line in the sand somewhere, and decided to Bomb ISIS (Sunni) Its not very effective, having to ask its lawyers first before they pull the trigger. So far they’ve destroyed two Toyota Hilux’s and a bulldozer. It was later found that the bulldozer belonged to the Kurds.

The Kurds have forgiven the US for their indiscretion with the bull dozer and are now using them for air support and making good progress against ISIS. This arrangement is secret, as US does not want Iraq to know about it, as the US need to support them and not the Kurds.

The Iraqi army are really only a wholesale distributor of US weapons to whoever wants them mainly ISIS and US is pretending they are not too pissed about this.

Iraq’s biggest enemy Iran is pretending to be kind to it and sending its troops into Araq to help out. They don’t have Lion Red there so I don’t know what to say about this.

Obama has had an even bigger brain fart and given Iran a deal of the century over its nuclear program. That is, it can do whatever it wants in return for US injecting billions of dollars into its economy via a suspension of UN sanctions. In appreciation of this Iran has reequipped and strengthened the numbers of Hezbollah in Lebanon and moved them into Syria to help Assad bomb the armies that Obama is supporting.

Now add to that Putin enters the fun. Assad is his old mate who is really getting in the shit so it is not surprising he comes to the rescue. Of course that’s not the reason at all. He sees Obama making such a hash of things and just cant wait to show him how to really do a missile war.

So you see how all these folks just get too confused and can’t see the woods from the trees. Not that there’s much wood or trees to actually see.

So here comes my entry into Geo Politics

The Unitedtribes Solution to the Middle East Problem.

Arabs don’t do sectarian societies. I can’t understand why someone hasn’t noticed this yet. The only exception to this is the Kurds. That’s why in my solution I am,

Giving the Kurds a large swath of land from Diyabakir in Turkey to Kermanshah in Iran. This line can be as elastic as it needs to be probably including Kirkuk and Mosul. The Peshmerga are the only credible force that will remove ISIS from these area so it should be theirs once done.

I will deport the Jews and Israel from their lands and allow Palestine to take over these territories as joint rulers with Assad’s Alawites, if any still exist by then. One of the astounding and funny things about the Sykes Picot agreement was to establish Syria and give it to the Alawite tribe the smallest and most hated tribe in the area at the time.

The part of Syria that the Kurds don’t get will be given to the Shiites of Iraq and Syria and the rest that are being deported from Europe.

The Sunnis will be deported to Iraq.

This will mean that Turkey will be kept in its place by Shiite and Kurd neighbours

Iran will be kept in its place by the Sunni’s and the northern Kurds

This leaves Israel and the Jews. This was another bit of black humour by Sykes/Picot. He couldn’t possible have thought that putting the Jews on a bit of barren ground surrounded by several tribes of angered Arabs was going to work out well.

So my masterpiece is to relocate Jerusalem and the Jews to Invercargill. Rugby Park Stadium will be their most reverent place of worship and Tim Shadbolt will be anointed King of the Jews. Mossad will be based at Waihopai and become a division of the GCSB. NZ GDP will improve by 3% in the first year and John Key will find the missing million voters. John Minto will be kept at bay by giving him a free soda stream with a years supply of raspberry flavouring (might even put on some weight)

So with the Jewish problem sorted and peace in the Middleast for the first time since 10300 BC I can now declare at last we have one great big happy UNITEDTRIBE.