Put “words into action and truly support women”

A thread on Twitter begins:

That’s quite a confrontational and alienating start. What follows is some advice to men, with some questionable comments added (I note that advice to women from men on this issue is unlikely to go down well):

In light of all the not all men idiots still breathing and talking shit, here’s a few ways that you can truly put your idiotic words into action and truly support women who are fearing for their lives right now.

Walk women to their cars and wait for them to drive off before leaving. Same applies to if you’re dropping them home. Wait until they are safely inside. If somebody is inside their car you will see and be able to help.

Wait with women for their taxis/ubers/transport home. Say hello and introduce yourself to the driver, note the number plate, and thank the driver for getting your friend home safely. Tell your friend to message you as soon as they are safely home.

If possible, drop your friends home in your uber/taxi/car. If money is an issue for them and they’re taking public transport, pay for them to get home.

When you see any women looking uncomfortable in a situation with a man, step in. Introduce yourself and say “hi, I’m xyz, is this man bothering you?” and follow up with “are you sure?” if she says no uncomfortably. Alert a staff member if you are in a bar.

If you ever see a woman being harassed by a man in any situation, also step in. introduce yourself, and say “would you like me to wait with you until he is gone?” and also call the police. If it looks like a couple’s fight, make sure the woman is aware there are witnesses & help.

This sort of thing can be tricky to deal with. Sometimes women don’t want others interfering. It risks escalating the situation for the women. It could also put the man who intervenes at risk. I know this from experience.

If a woman is visibly intoxicated leaving a bar with a man, tell security to check on them and also ask if she’s okay. if the man is defensive and aggressive and won’t let her speak, chances are he doesn’t know her, and is planning to assault her. Do not let them leave together.

If you see a male friend who won’t leave a woman alone, go over and say “sorry I’ll let him stop bothering you now” then take him away and explain that she is not interested and he needs to learn to take no for an answer, because women know what they want & don’t need convincing.

I’ve done that, and also done a number of other things that have been suggested.

If your male friends are discussing women in a degrading manner, or describing sexual situations where it is definitely murky as to whether or not she was coerced or consented willingly, ask “did she agree to that?” or “don’t speak about women like that”.

It’s tragic work christmas party season now, and it is very important to make sure the women of your office feel safe. If they look uncomfortable, save them. Don’t let any men abuse their power to assault women. Don’t let men grope women and justify it with ‘banter’.

Generally I agree – but male employees can also be in power imbalance situations with concerns about their careers.

At parties where drinks are flowing and people might not be pouring their own, watch who is pouring them and if they’re putting anything in them. Drink spiking is very common in Auckland and it is very easily done as well. If unsure, tip it over accidentally.

That could potentially raise ire and provoke violence.

Do not touch any women without their permission. Do not approach women from behind if they’re outside and alone. Do not yell at women. Do not chase them. Do not berate them. DO RESPECT THEM.

The presence of another male is intimidating to predators because a: they know that you will not be as easily physically overpowered as a woman, and b: there is now a witness to their indecency. Use your presence to protect women – stand between them with 111 on your dial screen.

Do not centre yourselves in conversations about violence against women. Accept that your part of humanity is responsible for the majority of violence on women. If you have not perpetrated violence you should not feel guilty. If you feel guilty, deliver yourself to the authorities.

Actually it can be pretty difficult.

All men being held responsible for the actions of some is contentious

Men need to realise you are a part of the global system of oppression which is violently killing women every day and work to better yourself and your peers to create a world where women do not fear your existence. Pretty easy to do if you aren’t a piece of shit.

I can understand people being angry, but being angry at all men is unlikely to help the situation.

They are worthwhile causes.

Many men do put words into action, and have been for a long time. Obviously more can and should be done to confront and reduce societal violence. I think that is best done cooperatively and positively.

I’m sure many women don’t like being lectured about keeping themselves safe. Most women (and men) are already aware of prudence and caution required in different situations.

I understand anger and emotion in situations like this, but lecturing and blaming and shaming all men is, i think, more of a problem than a solution.

Black Ferns win semi-final

Women’s rugby gets nothing like the coverage of the male version, and the Black Ferns get a fraction of the attention of the All Blacks, but they have been having a very good world cup in Ireland.

They have just beaten the USA in a semi-final 45 to 12.

RNZ:  Black Ferns into Rugby World Cup final

The Black Ferns have made it to the final of the Rugby World Cup, with a 45-12 victory over the US in their semi-final in Belfast this morning.

The Americans were competitive in the first half, but the New Zealanders took control in the second half, playing the majority of the game in the opposition half, and dominated possession.

The Black Ferns scored seven tries in total, with four of them to winger Portia Woodman.

That was a very good try on the way to an excellent win.

The Black Ferns will play either France or defending champions England in the final.

England have had some big wins too, beating the USA in a pool match 47-26. And France beat Australia 48-0!

Website: Women’s Rugby World Cup

Increasing the number of women MPs

There has been discussion recently on gender quotes for MPs.

A survey has shown that most women don’t want legal quotas, and 45% of women think that either nothing needs to be done or we don’t need more female MPs.

From The Nation – Lisa Owen interviews Jackie Blue, Jan Logie, and Rachel Petero

Equal Employment Opportunities Commissioner Jackie Blue has called on all political leaders to commit to a 50% quota of women in cabinet

She’s also called for New Zealand to follow Australia and the UK and require all larger companies (employing more than 250 people) to publish details of their gender pay gap, with fines for those who don’t comply.

Transcript: http://www.voxy.co.nz/politics/5/267488

It some ways it would be good if MPs represented the electorate in approximately proportionate numbers – but that is if there are sufficient numbers of female candidates who are about as good as male candidates.

And it depends on what voters want.

A survey after the 2014 election showed that:

  • 5.2% of women want legal MP quotas
  • 11.6% of women want parties to voluntarily increase the number of women MPs
  • 28.6% of women want more women encouraged to participate in politics
  • 32.1% of women think that nothing needs to be done, numbers will increase naturally
  • 12.9% of women think that there is no need to increase the number of female MPs.

Danyl at Dim-Post: Gender quotas again

  • On the other hand, political gender quotas are really not very popular with either men or women. The NZES asked about them after the last election.


And regardless of what number of females candidates stand it comes down to what voters choose – and about half of voters are women.

There’s a lot of comments on this at Dim-Post, and Kiwiblog has a new post on this: Women don’t want quotas

I think that two related things are necessary to even the gender balance – encourage more women to get involved in politics and stand as candidates, and substantially improve the nature of our politics and the behaviour of parties and MPs.

I’m not surprised it is difficult to attract more women to the dirty muckraking attack style politics that is currently prevalent.

Trump versus women

The issue of Donald trump’s attitude to women and his alleged inappropriate behaviour with women continues to dominate the US presidential election. More allegations have been published from women claiming that Trump has acted with them much like he described him being in the tape conversation that emerged a week ago.

This also brings to the surface a major issue of (some) male attitudes to woman.

The latest allegation is in the Washington Post: Woman says Trump reached under her skirt and groped her in early 1990s

Kristin Anderson, who was pursuing a modeling career, has told The Post that Donald Trump groped her on a couch in a crowded Manhattan nightspot in the early 1990s. The Trump campaign denied the allegations, as it has denied claims made by other women who have come forward in recent days.

Kristin Anderson was deep in conversation with acquaintances at a crowded Manhattan nightspot and did not notice the figure to her right on a red velvet couch — until, she recalls, his fingers slid under her miniskirt, moved up her inner thigh, and touched her vagina through her underwear.

Anderson shoved the hand away, fled the couch and turned to take her first good look at the man who had touched her, she said.

She recognized him as Donald Trump: “He was so distinctive looking — with the hair and the eyebrows. I mean, nobody else has those eyebrows.”

Over the years, Anderson, now 46 and a photographer living in Southern California, has recounted the story to people she knew, casually at first.

One friend, Kelly Stedman, told The Washington Post that Anderson informed her about the encounter a few days after it happened.

Anderson, who said she doesn’t support Trump or Democrat Hillary Clinton, did not initially approach The Post. A reporter contacted her after hearing her story from a person who knew of it, and she spent several days trying to decide whether to go public.

“Mr. Trump strongly denies this phony allegation by someone looking to get some free publicity. It is totally ridiculous,” Trump spokeswoman Hope Hicks said in an emailed statement.

The growing number of complaints against Trump, triggered by his denial he never acted the way he described in the tape, are a major distraction for his presidential campaign.

And they seem to be having an effect in polls. Trump is losing support amongst women.

A spokesperson for Trump has just said on Fox News that the allegations are very difficult to deal with (understandably). He also said he knows Trump very well and “he didn’t do any of these things”. That means nothing unless he was with at the time of each alleged grope.

The latest Fox News poll: Clinton leads Trump by 7 points:

Hillary Clinton’s lead over Donald Trump has increased to seven points, as more than half of voters say he is not qualified to be president.

  • Hillary Clinton 45%
  • Donald Trump 38%
  • Gary Johnson 7%
  • Jill Stein 3%.

Last week, Clinton was up by two points in the four-way contest (44-42 percent).

In the two-way matchup, it’s Clinton over Trump by eight (49-41 percent).  She had a four-point edge a week ago (48-44 percent, Oct. 3-6).  

That’s a significant move.

Breakdowns show that Trump is best supported by less educated white males, and his support from women is slipping.

Trump’s support:

  • Men +5 points
  • Whites +14
  • Whites without a college degree +25

But he has declining support with:

  • Voters ages 65+ down 11 points
  • White college graduates down 6
  • Regular church goers down 8
  • Women ages 45 and over down 12
  • Suburban women down 10
  • White women with a college degree down 7
  • GOP women down 6

That is significantly reducing support from women.

Trump’s enthusiasm advantage is also down, and Clinton’s is up:

70 percent of his backers “strongly” supported him last week.  That’s 63 percent now.  

For Clinton, it’s 66 percent, up from 57 percent.  

Honest and trustworthy:

  • Clinton 32% (up 1)
  • Trump 31% (down 3)

The right temperament to serve effectively as president:

  • Clinton 62% (up 1)
  • Trump 34% (down 3)

“Regardless of how you might vote, how qualified do you think Hillary Clinton is to be President of the United States?”

  • Very 41% (up 4)
  • Somewhat 26% (up 1)
  • Not very 8% (down 3)
  • Not at all 24% (down 3)

“Regardless of how you might vote, how qualified do you think Trump is to be President of the United States?”


  • Very 16% (no change)
  • Somewhat 26% (down 1)
  • Not very 9% (down 5)
  • Not at all 49% (up 7)


Clinton has her own problems with the drip feed from WikiLeaks, but at this stage it seems that Trump is being damaged more by the sexual impropriety allegations, especially amongst female voters.

UPDATE: There’s yet another woman who has come out and claimed Trump assaulted and kissed her during episode 5 of The Apprentice. She has just appeared with her lawyer in an interview from Los Angeles.

I’ve been watching Fox News coverage of this as it happens and as they covered the latest Trump speech and even from Fox he is getting bad coverage. They are showing contradictions in Trump’s denials, and showing him calling all the women liars and implying and saying that some of them are too ugly for him to assault.

He spent most of his speech (in Greensboro, North Carolina) denying accusations and attacking the women who have come out and accused him.

And he also continued with claims that the media is conspiring with the Clintons against him and that the whole election is rigged.

Some lap this stuff up but it’s looking increasingly like a major stuff up for the Republican Party.

There’s some irony here – Clinton has been promoted as a a great role model for women, especially if she wins the presidency.

But it may be Trump’s abuse of women and women’s reaction to that in the ballot box that loses the election for Trump more than Clinton winning it.


A non-threatening deadline

How to be a non-threatening woman:


I get what they are trying to say, but feelgood doesn’t always work.

That could be Metiria Turei saying the James Shaw: “What do you think about consulting with Labour before announcing a plan to cut house prices in half by Monday before I’m due to use an interview with Guyon Espiner to announce contentious house price targets?”

Or someone in business saying “What do you think about completing the job for clients by Monday?” If a commitment has been made to deliver by Monday then “This has to be done by Monday” isn’t threatening, it’s a real deadline.

Try telling Inland Revenue “What do you think about me paying my provisional tax by Monday?”

Or your boss “What do you think about me returning to work by Monday?”

In any case leadership often requires straight talking, including setting specific targets and deadlines, whether you are a woman or a man.

But this isn’t the point of it (or I’m a guy so perhaps I just don’t get it). It’s from “9 Non-Threatening Leadership Strategies For Women,”

…where the Cooper Review pokes fun at this media trope, offering some helpful tips (with funny illustrations) to “alter your leadership style to account for the (sometimes) fragile male ego.”

Playing the “poor me, I’m a woman in a leadership position and it’s so difficult dealing with stupid ego driven men” seems a bit lame.

Two T20 triumphs

Both New Zealand teams won their final World t20 pool matches overnight and both have topped their pools in impressive style.

The New Zealand women’s team restricted South Africa to 99. Devine and Kasperek each took 3 wickets.

They then easily reached 100 in 14 and a half overs with the loss of only 3 wickets. Bates (29), Priest (28) and Devine (27 not out) all contributed.

Their semi final opponent won’t be decided until other pool matches are played.

And the Black Caps outplayed Bangladesh to complete a clean sweep of their pool. They batted well on a slow pitch to reach 145 for the loss of 8, with Williamson top scoring with 42. Munro also adapted to the conditions well to score 35.

They then restricted Bangladesh to a record low score of 70. Elliot and Sodhi each took three wickets.

England have just beaten Sri Lanki in the other men’s pool to secure second slot so will be the Black Cap’s opponent in the semi finals. South Africa have missed the cut with a game yet to play.

West Indies won Group 1. They will play the winner of India versus Australia.


NZ’s ‘women of achievement’

The Herald reports on NZ’s 50 ‘women of achievement’.

Fifty Kiwi women have been recognised for their accomplishments in time for International Women’s Day today.

Zonta’s New Zealand chapter has chosen 50 “women of achievement” for their work in fields which deal with some of the most serious issues facing women today.

I’ll find the list of 50 when i get a chance. The Herald details the top ten:

Helen Clark, New York: The former Prime Minister is being honoured for her ongoing work promoting gender equality and women’s political, economic and social participation.

Louise Nicholas, Rotorua: Louise Nicholas has taken a lead in the change of attitudes towards victims of sexual abuse, working with the New Zealand Police on how to deal with victims of rape. She is also a leading advocate in raising the awareness of sexual abuse and the need for education and empowerment of women and young girls.

Lesley Elliott, Dunedin: Lesley Elliott is the founder and current chair of the Sophie Elliott Foundation, the mission of which is to cause a profound shift in New Zealanders’ attitudes towards relationship violence. The foundation’s Loves-Me-Not programme, aimed at Year 12 students, is a valuable resource in teaching young people how to recognise abusive behaviour.

Deborah Bush, Christchurch: Deborah Bush is the co-founder of Endometriosis New Zealand. ENZ has initiated specialised programmes, fostered research, and lobbied for better outcomes for girls and women with endometriosis in New Zealand.

Dame Silvia Cartwright, Auckland: Former Governor General Dame Silvia has served on the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women and played a major role in drafting protocol about how to reduce instances of gender discrimination.

Steve Chadwick, Rotorua: Rotorua Mayor Steve Chadwick established the first Family Planning Clinic in Rotorua and helped establish the city’s first Women’s Refuge and Teen Parent School. She had also been an advocate for sexual and maternal health.

Vi Cottrell, Kaiapoi: The co-founder of Trade Aid, Vi Cottrell has been committed to the social enterprise for over 40 years. Most craft producers are women and Fair Trade makes a huge impact on their and their families’ lives.

Dame Miriam Dell, South Wairapapa: Dame Miriam has been and continues to be at the forefront of women’s issues in New Zealand and internationally for over 30 years, promoting women’s advancement and equal rights in society.

Vanisa Dhiru, Wellington: Serving a number of not-for-profit boards since university, Vanisa Dhiru is involved with organisations in the women’s, ethnic and youth sectors. She is currently the vice-president of the National Council of Women of New Zealand.

Dame Margaret Sparrow, Wellington: Dame Margaret is a sexual health pioneer and a long-term advocate for women’s rights to abortion and contraception.

NOTE: This post is for recognising the achievements of new Zealand women.

Attacks on individual women or women in general will not be tolerated here.

Deep discussion at Dim-Post

Danyl kicked off some deep discussion at Dim-Post on Jacinda Ardern’s image promotion – Hang on a second.

But the context around Ardern’s surge in popularity complicates all of this a bit, I think. She isn’t popular because she’s an effective campaigner, or because she’s been breaking big stories or landing hits on the government in the House. She’s popular because she’s gotten glowing coverage in the women’s magazines over the last few months, appearing on the cover of Next magazine and being profiled in the Woman’s Weekly. I assume this is all being facilitated by Labour’s new comms director who is a former Woman’s Weekly editor and it is a level and type of coverage that any politician – even the Prime Minister – would envy.

Ardern’s popularity subsequent to that coverage tells us something very interesting about the power of that type of media, which is something that political nerds like me are usually oblivious to. But it’s also something that’s happening because she’s really pretty. And there’s something problematic about insisting politicians shouldn’t be judged on their looks when they do appear to be succeeding specifically because of their appearance.

Prettiness, sexism and political capabilities were all thrashed over. Danyl updatred his post twice in response to criticisms.

If you’re interested in a leftish view of all this the thread is worth reading. But one comment stood out from the crowd.

Left wing women are horrible no matter what they look like.

Comment by Redbaiter — August 28, 2015 @ 10:44 am


The world must be an ugly place for Reddie. He sees nearly everyone as left wing.

The Dim-Post post was also discussed at:

Cunliffe preferred less in Auckland and by women

Labour has a major problem. David Cunliffe has an even bigger problem, especially in Auckland and with women.

Labour has struggled (and failed) to recover and rebuild since Helen Clark and Michael Cullen departed after their 2008 election loss.

Phil Goff failed to inspire, the David Shearer experiment at first seemed possibly inspired but turned out to be deluded, and after an initial surge David Cunliffe is failing to impress. The latest Herald/Digipoll has Cunliffe polling lower than Shearer ever was in ‘preferred PM’.

Party poll results for Labour (compared to December 2013):

  • Total 29.5% (down 5.9)
  • Male 27.2% (down 5.5)
  • Female 31.5% (down 6.6)
  • Auckland 26.7% (down 9.9)
  • Rest of NZ 31% (down 3.7)

Labour usually gets more female support but that is coming down significantly. They should be particularly worried about their crash in support in Auckland.

Preferred PM for Cunliffe:

  • Total 11.1% (down 5.4)
  • Male 12.3% (down 5.3)
  • Female 10.1% (down 4.8)

Female support for Labour is higher than male support (31.5 to 26.7), but rate Cunliffe lower as preferred PM than males (10.1 to 12.3).

In comparison ‘preferred PM’ for John Key:

  • Total 66.5% (up 4.7)
  • Male 70.4% (up 8.5)
  • Female 62.7% (down 0.1)

Key is significantly more preferred by male than female but he gets well over National levels of support from both genders.

Comprehensive poll results including regional and gender breakdowns at NZ Herald – National, Greens up, Labour at new low.

Why women live longer than men

From We interview You@YCrazyMind 

Why Women Live Longer Than Men… Hilarious

Why women live longer